Have you ever been caught red-handed giving a sympathy card for Valentine's because the lovey-dovey ones were sold out? Welcome to our Valentine's Day laugh-a-thon where we strip down the hilarious mishaps and tender moments that love throws our way. You'll find yourself nodding along as we banter about the high-octane world of gift-giving and how Blaire struggles to pronounce "Valentine's." We get real about the behind-the-scenes tug-of-war that happens when life's little interruptions collide with podcast recording—because, let's face it, a peaceful house is a rare commodity.

Valentine's Day might have cost a staggering $25.9 billion last year, but can you really put a price tag on plucking a hair from your spouse's chin with your teeth? That's commitment! We're cutting through the commercial craze to bring you tales of funny love notes and gift-giving faux pas that will have you chuckling and shaking your head in agreement. Forget the grand gestures; we're all about the quirky day-to-day tokens of affection that keep the flame alive. And you won't want to miss our take on the latest affectionate antics blowing up social media, from the 'love surge' to our own embarrassing 'choo-choo train'—parenting gold, right there. As we wrap up this heart-filled hilarity session, remember that it's not about the patio furniture (bad idea, by the way) or the box of mystery chocolates that matters. It's the laughter shared over a pair of unwanted slippers or the eye rolls at yet another unsolicited foot massage that really tells the story of love. Join us for an episode that's not just a celebration of love, but a salute to the perfectly imperfect way we all stumble through it. Whether you're a hopeless romantic or a Valentine's critic, there's a seat at our table of love—just don't bring stuffed animals, we've got plenty.

Episode Transcript

NOTE: Episode transcripts are automatically generated.

BlaireHost00:00

It's our Valentine's Day special right now on Love Lessons.

ZakkHost00:04

Valentine's, not Valentine's.

BlaireHost00:06

What, what should we?

ZakkHost00:09

Valentine's.

BlaireHost00:10

Valentine's. It's our Valentine's Day special.

ZakkHost00:13

Our Valentine's Day special.

BlaireHost00:15

Valentine's Day.

ZakkHost00:18

Okay, if you're gonna say that, I've gotta read headlines.

BlaireHost00:20

Then you can read headlines. That's ridiculous. I ain't gonna change the way I am now because of him.

ZakkHost00:26

Our marriage is not gonna survive this. It's that time of year again. Are you ready for it? You've gotta buy the gifts and the chocolate and hopefully you don't spend an arm and a leg on the flowers. We are talking about intentionality on the day of love. It's our Valentine's special right now on Love Lessons.

BlaireHost01:14

Well, hello there and welcome to our Valentine's Day special of Love Lessons. So, as Zach reminded me earlier, it's Valentine's Day, not Valentine's Day, listen, and I've offended.

ZakkHost01:32

You know, one of us always reads headlines before the show starts. That's the little blur we say before the open that talks about how we're marriage experts. Lol, and it was supposed to be Blair's turn to read it.

BlaireHost01:45

Yeah, we take turns. And sometimes and usually Zach does most of them because he's better at it.

ZakkHost01:50

She practiced it and said it's our Valentine's episode and you sound like you fell off the turnip truck in Greenbow Alabama.

BlaireHost01:58

Do not talk about my cousin Forest like that.

ZakkHost02:01

I mean this, that's how I say the word. There are people who already think no, you, when you get on here, you get way more country. There are people who already question whether or not we're actually married or if this is just a sham.

BlaireHost02:18

That's because you say it like every episode. I'm not even sure if we're married. One of these days I'm going to have to prove our marriage, just like Barack Obama had to prove his citizenship. I'm going to have to get out papers on you because of your mouth.

ZakkHost02:30

I don't think Donald Trump cares about love lessons. He's got a bigger fish to fry right now. Yeah, that's what I've heard.

BlaireHost02:36

But let's also talk about how I was ready to throw punch you a few minutes ago.

ZakkHost02:41

When are you not ready to throw punch?

BlaireHost02:42

me.

ZakkHost02:43

Like this is once, at least once a day. You threaten violence against me.

BlaireHost02:47

Let it be known love lessons. Let it be a lesson to you.

ZakkHost02:52

Blair's always trying to end my life.

BlaireHost02:54

They've seen the knife.

ZakkHost02:55

They know what you've done.

BlaireHost02:57

I'm ignoring you.

ZakkHost02:58

As always, you ignore me and then threaten violence. Welcome to Zach's life. Welcome to love lessons.

BlaireHost03:04

So what had happened was earlier we were trying to get this show on the road, literally.

ZakkHost03:11

I was trying to get this show on the road.

BlaireHost03:13

And I was picking at you and aggravating you, which all of love lessons knows that you do me all of the time, okay, and I was doing it to you and so, and you couldn't take it. No, you were. You can dish it out like the best of them, but you sure can't take it.

ZakkHost03:29

Let me be clear. I was trying to get something done and I just needed you to shut up for a minute.

BlaireHost03:35

If you can't run with the big dogs, you need to stay on the porch.

ZakkHost03:39

I was trying to stay on the porch and the big dogs were running their mouths. I couldn't hear myself think.

BlaireHost03:45

Well, let's just say I'm not feeling very lovey today for our Valentine's Day special.

ZakkHost03:49

Me either. I don't know what to tell you.

BlaireHost03:54

I'd kill you with kindness, but I'll have his chainsaw cut in the bank Exactly.

ZakkHost03:58

I'd give you a dirty look when it appears you already have a little, or give the insult lessons. We have plenty of those. None of them are edifying to each other.

BlaireHost04:08

I really do love you, but I really love you too. I was really frustrated with you for being frustrated with me. I wasn't frustrated with you, you were being short with me and I was not happy about it.

ZakkHost04:17

I just need you to be quiet so I could record headlines and say Valentine's Day like a normal person. All of you and we got it through it, and now you're still mad for something that didn't need to be mad about anyone. I don't care how you feel.

BlaireHost04:33

Listen, that's a whole lot for you to say. If somebody who never shut up yourself, you would talk at a brick wall and how many times have you been like.

ZakkHost04:43

How many times have you I don't need that, no, I can talk to it regardless. How many times have you told me to leave you alone and go away because you're trying to do something? I?

BlaireHost04:53

don't do it nearly as rudely as you just did to me. All I did was sigh, exactly that sigh communicated a lot, that indirect communication that you had there.

ZakkHost05:05

Let me be very direct Do it. I was trying to get a simple task accomplished.

BlaireHost05:11

And I was standing in the way and you would not be quiet.

ZakkHost05:13

I was literally trying to record something for this show because, as you have reminded me several times, you're on a time crunch today, because you don't care about our audience, you just want to get in and get out for the ratings.

BlaireHost05:26

You know what that reminds me of?

ZakkHost05:28

Lydia.

BlaireHost05:29

No, when somebody's standing in your way.

ZakkHost05:33

Yeah.

BlaireHost05:34

Our kitchen. It never fails. I'm in there doing something, and every member of our family, every member, Even the dog, the dog, the baby crawls in there, the girl standing there.

ZakkHost05:48

The neighbor comes over.

BlaireHost05:49

I mean, can I get some sugar? And stands right in my way. All of the like I can be in there doing nothing and you all just follow me and stand in the middle of my nothing. Like I can go throw something away and you still somehow.

ZakkHost06:03

Has it ever occurred to you that people in the house actually like you and want to be near you? I don't know why, based on how you act.

BlaireHost06:08

You will follow me around and I cannot turn around without one of you being there. Oh, bump it into me. It's like can I please just be in my kitchen by myself? I'm trying to cook dinner.

ZakkHost06:18

We're trying to get ready for dinner. It's like come get out plates and then we get yelled at for being in your way and I'm like you're right where the plates are.

BlaireHost06:24

That's not even a thing, so that's cute, but so we both have to deal with being in each other's way.

ZakkHost06:31

Emotionally, you are in my way right now. You are a huge barrier right now.

BlaireHost06:37

I would also like to bring up something else.

ZakkHost06:41

Go ahead.

BlaireHost06:42

The people have spoken, I know. So a couple of episodes ago you made a big deal, big, all caps Big deal.

ZakkHost06:52

I'm allowed to make a big deal out of things that are a big deal to me.

BlaireHost06:54

Okay, so you made a big deal to something that was a big deal to you, thank you. And that was my F-rating car. Yeah, my failing, dirty car, it's disgusting. Disgusting. You don't even want to ride in it.

ZakkHost07:06

No.

BlaireHost07:08

Which is an over exaggeration. It's more like a fantasy. But again, we have to agree to disagree, but the people have spoken.

ZakkHost07:16

I'd let you get by with a D, but the people have spoken.

BlaireHost07:20

People don't think it's a big deal. They think you're being dramatic, over dramatic, in fact, about it it's NBD, no big deal.

ZakkHost07:29

I think that people don't realize how gross you are.

BlaireHost07:34

They are welcome to come to my house and then tell me if I'm gross.

ZakkHost07:37

The house is fine, it's your car, the car is not that bad.

BlaireHost07:41

Anyway, it doesn't matter what your opinion is.

ZakkHost07:43

Because Clearly you have made that known that you don't care how I feel.

BlaireHost07:46

You can worry about your own car. My car is fine.

ZakkHost07:48

My car is great, my car is clean. Okay, what Okay?

BlaireHost07:54

We all have opinions about different things. I ride in my own car, you don't have to, thank goodness. And the people agree that you need to calm down.

ZakkHost08:01

Thank goodness.

BlaireHost08:02

What's your heartburn about?

ZakkHost08:04

There sometimes is an expectation that I have to ride in your car.

BlaireHost08:08

One time every month maybe.

ZakkHost08:12

And that's the worst day of the month for me, it's the worst 12 days of the year, isn't it?

BlaireHost08:16

Bless you, pee-pickin' little heart.

ZakkHost08:20

Anyway.

BlaireHost08:20

I do appreciate getting validated, so thank you all for that. So I saw something the other day that reminded me of you.

ZakkHost08:27

Yeah.

BlaireHost08:27

Reminded me of us actually. Okay. There's something going around on social media and they're talking about a love surge.

ZakkHost08:35

Oh, the love surge. Have you seen the love surge? Yeah?

BlaireHost08:38

So, for those of you who don't know the love surge is, it was something that this couple does whenever they one of them wants love. They like surge, they like start, like vibrating and whatnot? And the other person loves them and they are feeling so much love in their body they can't contain it and so they're just shaking, and they do this funny, it's not like a chihuahua. Yeah, it's exactly what it's like. It's like this funny little.

ZakkHost09:02

Yeah, so they call it the love surge.

BlaireHost09:03

They called it the love surge.

ZakkHost09:04

People were not having it.

BlaireHost09:05

They were like icked People were like if this is what my future holds. I don't want it. Yeah, and I thought it was the cutest thing ever. Yeah, I'm here for it, I did not think it was gross yeah. I thought it was like their cute little thing. Maybe it's not your cute little thing, but like wouldn't you want to love somebody that much? Yeah.

ZakkHost09:21

I'm all here for it. I mean, I'm not a surgeon myself, but I have other ways that I show I need love.

BlaireHost09:31

So we have something that we do, yeah, and it's called the choo-choo train, yeah, and I think now people might be coming for us. If people came for love surge people.

ZakkHost09:43

I'm not showing you on TikTok like that one couple days.

BlaireHost09:45

No, we're not gonna do it. So usually Zach starts it. Yeah, cause usually you're the one that needs a little bit of love.

ZakkHost09:51

Right.

BlaireHost09:52

Probably I got you, got my way in the kitchen and I was like side fresher and I was like move out of my way.

09:58

And so then you went to the other side of the counter like a kicked puppy and you stood there and you looked all sad with your little sad doll guys and then you started choo-chooing and so it looks like you know when a train's like wheels start going and that thing starts going around, and it starts, yeah. So you start doing that and that you communicating to me and I'm not sure how it started.

ZakkHost10:21

It was trying to embarrass the kids. Oh, okay, yeah, Cause they are they think that the choo-choo train is cringe.

BlaireHost10:27

Because it is.

ZakkHost10:28

Absolutely, and that's the biggest reason why we do it. It's cause they hate it.

BlaireHost10:31

So you choo-choo train and you go faster and faster and faster, and that's communicating to me that I need to come and give you love, and then I also need to come and be the caboose.

ZakkHost10:40

Yeah, and the kids like, want to crawl out of their own skin, yeah.

BlaireHost10:44

And so I come over and I give you love, and then you start like choo-chooing faster, and then I come around and I'm the caboose, and then we like choo-choo all over the house, choo-choo around the house and we choo-choo.

ZakkHost10:55

And the kids are mortified.

BlaireHost10:58

I also am mortified and we like I don't know why I take like that's where the peer pressure comes in. I do it Because it's too embarrassing to kids, yeah, but there are times that the kids walk away and we keep doing it and I'm like, no, that's not true. Why are we doing this?

ZakkHost11:11

I mean you've got to finish the, you've got to go all the chugga's out. I guess that's what it is, but I mean like after there's no audience, there's no point doing it.

BlaireHost11:17

I get the part where I have to come and give you love, when you're like spinning your wheels, going like, girlfriend, get over here. It's when we start chugga-chugga around the house and we have to go choo-choo and we stop and the kids walk away and we continue because you got to finish the chugga-chuggas. That's when it's like okay, like why are we doing this? But then we have to keep doing it.

ZakkHost11:34

Listen, I don't care what any of you people out there and love Lessons Land say. You know you do weird stuff with your spouse.

BlaireHost11:40

Yeah.

ZakkHost11:41

I mean you, like you know, you do Just admit it. Yeah. You may not be a train to the house, but there's an idea for you.

BlaireHost11:48

Mm-hmm. I had somebody that I worked with one time that said that her husband one time picked a hair out of her chin with his teeth.

ZakkHost11:57

Yeah.

BlaireHost11:58

Because they were going somewhere and there were no tweezers and fingers wouldn't work.

ZakkHost12:01

That's love.

BlaireHost12:02

And I'm like that's commitment.

ZakkHost12:04

Yeah.

BlaireHost12:04

That's what it, is straight up.

ZakkHost12:05

We've been married almost 14 years. I pull a hair out of your chin with my teeth.

BlaireHost12:10

I'm afraid that you'll bite me. Bad aim.

ZakkHost12:17

Why do you have my ear in your mouth, you weirdo? Choo choo. Yeah, it's. This is taking a weird turn. The entire audience is now gone. We're just here talking to ourselves.

BlaireHost12:30

Yeah, they're like I can't listen to anybody that chugga-jugga is around their house. Yeah, we're going to have people that want to see it, just so they can laugh at us.

ZakkHost12:36

Yeah, I'm not doing it, and I don't blame them. I'm not doing it.

BlaireHost12:38

I don't, I don't blame them.

ZakkHost12:40

You have. You have opened us up to shame and ridicule Ridicule.

BlaireHost12:45

It's all me. Yeah, it's all me.

ZakkHost12:47

Yeah, nobody had to know our secrets, Do you? Do you want to try to redeem this with a fun fact?

BlaireHost12:55

If you have something fun, that will redeem it.

ZakkHost12:58

yes, it is. It is shocking. I'll say that, okay, it's Valentine's themed, of course, because it's Valentine's Day.

BlaireHost13:05

Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day.

ZakkHost13:08

The amount of money that people spend on Valentine's Day may blow your mind. Listen to this In 2023, people spent $25.9 billion billion, with a B dollars on gifts and chocolate and flowers and experiences. 25, almost $26 billion.

BlaireHost13:37

Dad gum Make it make sense To communicate their love and affection for other people.

ZakkHost13:44

It's just insanity to me Do you love me $26 billion worth. I don't have $26, let alone $26 billion.

BlaireHost13:53

Do you love me? $26?.

ZakkHost13:55

Yeah, absolutely yeah, dang, take you to the White Castle. I think they do have heart-shaped chicken tenders or chicken nuggets this time of year.

BlaireHost14:05

I know at White Castle years back you could like do some sort of reservation dinner for two.

ZakkHost14:11

They also had people getting married at White Castle. That's right, they did Remember that.

BlaireHost14:14

The last time I ate White Castle, I got food poisoning. So never again, RIP to the White Castle. So in talking about Valentine's Day, we really want to encourage couples to be intentional and use this as an opportunity to be intentional in showing love and affection to your spouse. Now, we are not saying that we support, you know, nearly $26 billion being spent on gifts.

14:41

I'm not saying that I don't think that there's a place for affection with some of those things. But this is not, you know, a ploy to reinforce consumerism and to focus on one day. But what we are saying is there's nothing wrong with being intentional and using this day as a reminder to be intentional with your spouse.

ZakkHost15:04

Now I would say you know something? I think that happens a lot, and I think it's probably happens more so with men is that they go out and buy stuff on Valentine's Day because they feel like they're supposed to.

BlaireHost15:16

Yeah, an obligation.

ZakkHost15:17

Right, and that's the opposite of intentionality, right. And if you're somebody who we've talked about this on the show before for a long time you didn't want flowers because you thought it was, you know, kind of wasteful and whatnot. If you're somebody who doesn't really enjoy flowers, because there are people who don't, right, or the chocolate or whatnot then go get something that your spouse does like if you want to get them a small token of appreciation, right. Or you know, plan a meal, or it doesn't have to be anything huge. You know to spend gazillions of dollars if that's not something that you're able to do, but that doesn't mean that it makes it any less, any less special.

BlaireHost15:51

Yeah. So how can you be intentional, yeah, with your spouse. And I think it's safe to say that in the beginning. You know when there's the butterflies and it's the new, the newness of spending a new holiday together first couple of years, especially if you don't have children yet. Then you can make it really special. You know it's. I remember our first couple of Valentine's Day were super special. We were very intentional with gifts and going out and over time that waned you know, there's actually a video out there where Susanna Lewis is under name.

ZakkHost16:26

She's an author. She's an author. She's woe Susanna on Facebook.

BlaireHost16:29

So she oh, it was so funny, it was Valentine's Day as a new couple versus as being married for 20 years. And so the video goes. You know, he got me chocolates and we went out for a nice dinner and he told me he loved me and he got me flowers and life is wonderful. And then she adds a filter later on and she was like, yeah, we went to Billy's game, we stopped at the Dollar General and got some batteries and we went through the drive-thru of Taco Bell and we shared a chalupa. And that has always tickled me because it is so accurate?

ZakkHost17:08

Yeah, it's so, and I actually heard somebody the other day say well, you know how it is when you get married. You know they do all the stuff to woo you and then, as soon as you're married, it's like it doesn't even matter anymore. And sadly that's true, but it doesn't have to be.

BlaireHost17:23

Do you know how many married women I talked to that say that, yeah, that they're like, it's like they don't even have to try anymore. They did what they were supposed to in the beginning and now it's just. Did you wash my dirty underwear?

ZakkHost17:34

Right, did you?

BlaireHost17:37

They're clean.

ZakkHost17:37

Yes, but Now I think that there's a difference in being comfortable in a marriage like healthy, comfortable, healthy versus not doing anything to pursue right and so and again it does. I think that. I think I don't want to. I hate generalized statements and so this may be a bit unfair, but in general I think a lot of men feel sometimes a little defeated because it's like okay, I can't go and spend $300 every single time to impress this woman and it doesn't require that right Like go clean the bathroom without being asked.

BlaireHost18:20

If you cleaned the bathroom and got me a card, even a homemade card, that said like I love you, you're pretty, I'm thankful for you, happy Valentine's Day. That would be so life-giving, right Like I'm an active service person anyway and I'm words of affirmation. So you said nice words to me and you did something for me to take it off my plate. That would be huge and that requires no money at all, especially if you do a homemade card there's no money in that, or a love note.

18:49

A love note? Oh man, yeah, that's. But let's also not get lost on the fact that Valentine's Day is so one-sided, right? So the men are defeated. You know we're over generalizing genders here, but the men are defeated before they even get started because they've got to go drop all this money. But a lot of times women don't really think that they have to do much for their spouse and I get like it's intentional about the husband pursuing the wife. But also there is a little bit of effort and or a lot, depending on your circumstances that a woman needs to put into showing appreciation and love and being intentional with her spouse and or showing appreciation for what he's done for you.

ZakkHost19:31

Yeah, yeah, so I think that's you know. We've mentioned the understanding love language is several times on this show, but one of the reasons that we mention it so often is because it's so simple but so important, right.

19:44

Understanding the other person's love language and your own is not going to solve every issue that you have, but it can go a long way in helping your spouse to feel loved and you knowing how you want your spouse in return to love you. And so find something. If you're not in a place where you can even if you are in a place I'm not saying it's wise to go out and drop a gazillion dollars on Valentine's Day just because but if you are in a place where you know the other person's love language, then you can say hey, what is it that they? If they love words of affirmation, then I can write them a letter that just showers love on them right.

20:18

If it's acts of service, something it's not a new thing, it's just something that has people are finally talking about, especially on social media. But a lot of times again, an overgeneralization, unfortunately but a lot of times a wife say that they have to carry the mental load in the relationship of like figuring out life and kids and everything else. If your spouse is an acts of service person and they are the person who carries the mental load and you know what they do, right, if you have everything in your life figured out for you, then your spouse is the person who's doing it.

BlaireHost20:46

If you have to ask if you're underwear or clean.

ZakkHost20:47

Then the other person carries the mental load. Good litmus test. If you never have to worry about what's for dinner good litmus test.

BlaireHost20:56

Or if you say if the person says, hey, what do you want to have for dinner? And you say I don't care, and you still get fed and it's figured out. Yes, yeah, you might be right now.

ZakkHost21:04

Anyway, go ahead. I feel like we're talking about us now. These are hitting very close to home. If they are someone who always carries the mental load, then do something and take it off of their plate so they don't have to figure it out. Maybe it is dinner and maybe it's something as simple as it's not even necessarily that you're cooking, but hey we're ordering this.

21:22

This is going to be delivered. I took care of it. That can be huge, right. If it's quality time, sit down and watch a movie with them. If it's, you know what are the other ones? I've forgotten everything I've ever known. Physical touch yes. Hold their hand, yeah, what a novel idea. Right, it's just it doesn't have to be overly complicated. Yeah, if it's gifts, then you're going to buy a gift. Yeah, yes, thank you, that was the other one.

BlaireHost21:49

Yeah, neither is that, nor are our gifts. No. We're like, oh, thank you, but do you love me.

ZakkHost21:56

Am I pretty Right? Into the bathroom dirty. I'm the one asking you if I'm pretty. How many times a day do you think? I ask you if you still love me.

BlaireHost22:06

Oh, five or six times a day?

ZakkHost22:07

Yeah, at least yeah.

BlaireHost22:10

It's, and at this point it's just a joke. I take it as a joke. It could be being funny and just like starting a conversation, but when you first started you ask me that. I'm like, yeah, and if it changes I'll let you know. Right and you're like what it could change. What Huh yeah?

ZakkHost22:23

But it wasn't a good boy. Exactly, it's ridiculous. That being said, there are opportunities that maybe you do want to find something to do and spend some money, and if you're in that position, that's great. You know, take something. Maybe you want to take an overnight trip, or you want to go to a really nice restaurant, or you know, there are all kinds of options available for you.

BlaireHost22:43

Yeah, so when we talk about free options or you know more inexpensive options, something that we did a few years ago is we created a memory box for each other and we wrote out. I think we said we're going to come up with 20 memories and you're going to write down 20 of your favorite and I'm going to write down 20 of my favorite. And we created little boxes for each other and we opened those up on Valentine's Day. We sat down together, we spent quality time and so that started a lot of great conversations and we were able to reminisce and I think we got like questions and we answered them.

23:22

Yeah, we're on the internet or something that way, but we still have those boxes and I found it not too long ago and I was going through those and that was.

23:28

Yeah, it's been like 10, 11 years ago, yeah, it was like a good gift that keeps giving because we still have it and still can look back on it. And it's funny, even though it's been that long ago, they're all still true. Some of them are more memory, but it was like, currently, you make me feel this way and all of them that are at it was like that's still very true in our relationship. And all of that was very inexpensive, nearly free, except for the boxes that we made. But we were very intentional about the gift and about trying to make sure the other person knew how much we loved and appreciated them.

ZakkHost23:59

If I remember right, that was totally Like neither of us talked about that and we both did that for the other person too, I think, didn't we?

BlaireHost24:06

We said we're going to do these boxes and we're going to do this, and that was really it Is that okay. But we still did a majority of the same thing even though we didn't plan all of that out with what we said and how we said it. And a lot of our favorite memories were the same and all of that was good.

ZakkHost24:20

It was really cool. You want to tell the family what I've started doing for you in the last few weeks.

BlaireHost24:32

So you have been very sweet in the last couple of weeks. I came home to flowers.

ZakkHost24:35

I'm trying to butter you up for something.

BlaireHost24:38

At least now I know what it is.

ZakkHost24:40

I'm just kidding. I have no butter. That was nothing.

BlaireHost24:43

So I came home and Zac had went to the store and got me flowers and they were on the counter and there was a card sitting there with it, as they're usually. It's because he's very eloquent in his writing and he likes to write me little notes and it's one of my love languages, so when I see a card with my name on it I get all giddy and I opened it up. And what was it that?

ZakkHost25:06

It said with deepest sympathy.

BlaireHost25:09

Get well soon.

ZakkHost25:10

Oh no, it said. It's on the outside, it said with deepest sympathy, and on the inside it said thinking of you during this difficult time. There were only three cards left on the rack when I went, and that one was the most loving card. The other one was making fun of a man for his 50th birthday and then I think it was like happy Bar Mitzvah or something.

BlaireHost25:36

So I got you with deepest sympathy and so sympathy, because I thought it was, because it's very you Like, it's very loving, but it's also hilarious. And so I loved it so much and giggled so much about my sympathy love card, that you ordered a random variety pack of greeting cards and you have been leaving them for me all over the house. And so I got a get well soon one. I got a life's hard pull your panties up, girl one. What was something else?

ZakkHost26:08

There was another one that was. I forget what it was, it was something obnoxious. Oh, happy congratulations graduate.

BlaireHost26:17

Congratulations graduate card. So you're leaving me lots of little love notes.

ZakkHost26:23

Oh, my favorite one was sorry I didn't check myself before I wrecked myself. Yes, that one was the best.

BlaireHost26:29

That was a good one, so just keep waiting to see how preposterous they're going to get.

ZakkHost26:33

I know and you never really know.

BlaireHost26:34

And the notes aren't like your mate.

ZakkHost26:36

I mean, the first one was, but they're more like sorry, had a bad day, love you or congratulations, not sure for what, but when you know, I was thinking about you like silly things, which is intentional, yeah little things can go a long way and I would argue, over the course of our marriage, don't get me wrong like we've done big gestures for each other, but at least in our relationship, I think that the times that we've done those little things for each other, those have meant a lot more. Maybe the big gestures in the moment you get more of an emotional response, but it's the small things over time that, at least for me, that I remember you know that were so impactful.

BlaireHost27:18

Yeah, so let's talk about things that we would never buy for each other on Valentine's Day.

ZakkHost27:24

Okay, you want to go first?

BlaireHost27:25

You go first, one for one.

ZakkHost27:27

Okay, I would never buy you any kind of household appliance. You're right, I think you would hit the ceiling.

BlaireHost27:39

So women kind of fall into two camps. This is kind of like would you get it for Christmas, birthday, valentine's Day, whatever? Some women are like absolutely buy me the shark vacuum, that's what I want. And other women are like do not buy me anything where I have to use it to serve other people. This is strictly about me. And I fall in the latter camp, like if you buy me a mixer, no matter how much I want that mixer. That is not a present for birthday, Christmas anniversary, Valentine's Day.

ZakkHost28:07

That's a random gift because you mentioned it.

BlaireHost28:10

I don't care if it's a thousand dollars. It's a random gift that is not a intentional. Like I love you, like if you're going to benefit from it, then I don't want it.

ZakkHost28:19

Probably goes back to your love language too, right?

BlaireHost28:21

Here's this gift bake me some bread with your new mixer.

ZakkHost28:24

Right.

BlaireHost28:25

No, I'm going to throw the mixer at you, right?

ZakkHost28:27

Yeah, I'm not even access service and I'm that way.

BlaireHost28:29

Yeah, so thank you, I agree.

ZakkHost28:31

Yeah, so that's actually not true, because I've been like just buy me tools for Christmas because that's what I need.

BlaireHost28:35

I'm going to get you a gift card so you can buy your own tools, because you come out with like six Phillips head screwdrivers and a hammer and I be like look. I got you a full set. And you're like where's the sockets?

ZakkHost28:46

and I'm like I don't even know what a socket is. You'd be like what's a 10 millimeter socket? What's a?

BlaireHost28:51

socket? I don't know, but here's a saw. I think the most aggressive tool that I could find and afford Turn it all around in my budget.

ZakkHost29:01

Where's the blade for it?

BlaireHost29:03

Oh Good one that's over it, okay. So what I would not buy you is a foot massage Sausage slash pedicure.

ZakkHost29:11

Oh gosh, I would die.

BlaireHost29:14

You would kick somebody in the face.

ZakkHost29:15

Yes, I absolutely would.

BlaireHost29:16

Like I know you enough to know that you would giggle slash Rage at somebody.

ZakkHost29:22

Listen, this is also a little PG-13. I don't get the whole foot fetish thing. I can't wrap my head around it. Like no People are like, oh, they've got such a cute feet. I have never seen a cute pair of feet in my life. I don't want to see your feet. I don't want you to touch my feet. I don't even want to think about feet existing. I wish that we could switch to the metric system so I didn't have to measure stuff in feet.

BlaireHost29:49

That's ridiculous, I hate it yeah anyway, and you don't like your feet being touched.

ZakkHost29:55

No no.

BlaireHost29:57

Yeah, it makes you vomit in your mouth a little bit.

ZakkHost29:58

Yeah, that and the sound of styrofoam squeaking both of those things make me want to crawl and haul and die, so you need a styrofoam pedicure, where they take styrofoam and rub them all over your feet. Squeaky foots. I would, I would, I would be deceased.

BlaireHost30:14

You would need to be committed and take into a padded room. I would.

ZakkHost30:17

I would stop talking about it, I'm gonna throw up. Okay, here's something I would not buy you because I have bought it for you and I know from experience because it did not go well.

BlaireHost30:29

Okay, do you remember this? I don't know when are we going.

ZakkHost30:33

We had not been married very long and I decided I was going to get you this was not for Valentine's Day, this was actually for your birthday An outdoor patio set. Do?

BlaireHost30:44

you remember this, I do.

ZakkHost30:46

And I was flabbergasted as to why it's someone who doesn't enjoy being outside while you wouldn't want it.

BlaireHost30:52

Here's what happened with that gift. You wanted an outdoor patio set and you're like, oh, I'll get this for Blair for her birthday. I don't, it's like walking outside, let me be clear this was not last week.

ZakkHost31:05

This was many, many years ago. This we were like 20 years old at this point, 21 years.

BlaireHost31:09

Yeah, and we didn't didn't have any patio furniture, and so we wanted you wanted some nice.

ZakkHost31:15

And you made me take it back.

BlaireHost31:16

I sure did. Here's the thing I am a person who cannot hide on my face if I don't like something. I also struggle to show that I do like something. But if I don't like it it's very evident and I try really hard not to make it evident. But it's like why did you give me this? I don't like that, like in my head and like, oh thanks, but you know me so well that you're like you don't like it and I'm like no, don't, can we take it back? Is that okay? Like I'm sorry but no. And so really try not to be that way, because it doesn't really elicit somebody wanting to buy you presents if they're like she's gonna hate it and want to take it back and not be thankful.

ZakkHost31:50

Well, I've learned over the years, so I got a patio set, cute earrings are usually a safe bet, absolutely.

BlaireHost31:57

Yeah, yeah.

ZakkHost31:58

And boots. And boots. Earrings and boots. Unpredictable, yeah, yeah.

BlaireHost32:02

But no patio furniture.

ZakkHost32:03

No, patio furniture. Yeah, what else you got? Give me another one.

BlaireHost32:07

See, I went with a full Valentine's theme here. Okay, so mine's a little different than yours. Okay, I would never buy you chocolates without knowing what was on the inside of them.

ZakkHost32:15

Oh, for sure.

BlaireHost32:16

You like the whole thought of biting into one and trying to see what it is, and like looking at the back of it and like the whole surprise thing. You are not. You're very basic. I don't think you like those box chocolates, don't? Yeah, like we've never really done that. I think we did it for the girls when they were little.

ZakkHost32:35

Yeah, and I would try them and you would be grossed out. That's like the third one.

BlaireHost32:38

You're like what am I doing? Yeah, I'm more like, ooh, that's got strawberry, ooh, that's mint, and you're like what are you doing? Yeah? I would never buy you box chocolates with not knowing what the middle was. Now, if it's like a Godiva set and I know that it's all caramel in the middle. Oh, sure, and I know that, then yes, I would buy you something like that. But if it is like mixed best of luck chocolate box, I don't care what force comes in it's not happening for you?

ZakkHost33:06

It's not happening. Yeah, hmm, you want to do one more. This one I can't take credit for. Yeah, but I did see something and I was laughing. Yeah. A hysterics A wife who was terrified of heights. For Valentine's Day Her husband bought her. No, oh yes. He went and bought her an experience gift where she could go bungee jumping, because in his mind it was going to help her get over her fear of heights.

BlaireHost33:37

She needs therapy, not bungee jumping.

ZakkHost33:39

So she went because it was non-refundable, because he was an idiot and never once, it never once, crossed his mind that she may not like this, and so this was lack of intentionality, but not really considering the other person. I think this was maybe last year, that is, but somebody had shared it recently because Valentine's Day, of course, is coming out, and so there's video of her and she is like sobbing and she's getting ready to jump off this cliff, and she was like I can't believe you did this to me and then they just push her off the cliff and I thought if I ever tried that with my wife, she would push me off the cliff with no gear.

BlaireHost34:18

Did it help her fear? Did she get done? No, Did she like finish and say oh, that was fun?

ZakkHost34:25

She said actually, there was they. She got back up to the top or whatever, and he was. And what made this worse is that he was recording all of this and he was like how did it go? And she said this is the worst day of my life, like she, like her mascara was all the mess tear streaming down her face and I'm like how tone deaf.

BlaireHost34:43

Also, though I don't care if it's not more fun to.

ZakkHost34:45

Yeah, I wouldn't do that.

BlaireHost34:47

What I want to know is why she didn't say here you go, bud, they don't care who it is, as long as somebody does it.

ZakkHost34:51

Oh, they bought it for them together. There were two. They had to do it.

BlaireHost34:54

Oh, you can do it twice, then I'll watch you do it. That's what I would say. That's what it was, yeah.

ZakkHost34:58

And I was like who knows to her for trying. Yeah, she was.

BlaireHost35:02

But I was thinking like, like I'm not even that bad and I'm pretty stupid sometimes, if you did that for Blair, that'd be the last thing you ever did for Blair, right? Okay, so stick in with our thing. The last one is I would not buy you any sort of stuffed animal.

ZakkHost35:20

No.

BlaireHost35:20

And this is for two reasons. One what would you do with it? You would like cool.

ZakkHost35:26

Pet it. I'll look at it.

BlaireHost35:28

You would give it to a small child. You're like I don't, this is tango, so it's what I'm going to do for this. The second reason is that you don't need anything to cuddle because you already have me. You have everything you need, let's see. You do not need to stuff it.

ZakkHost35:39

So really I don't need a gift at all, because I got everything when I married you.

BlaireHost35:42

Yes, but sometimes you need to be extra blessed, and so that's why I give you some gifts, occasionally, little cards. Sometime I'll play the caboose with you, yes, but stuffed animal I'm not going to waste my money on that, especially when it has a little fake rose tucked into it. That's the worst. No, you don't need that Like gas station teddy bear.

ZakkHost36:00

No.

BlaireHost36:01

Not going to do it.

ZakkHost36:02

In town where we live here in Owensboro there's a guy that sets up on the side of the road of Revolentine today and has the bear and the big balloon Like the confetti and all. It's real cute. Yeah, I got one for the girls one year, didn't I?

BlaireHost36:12

Yeah, I think so.

ZakkHost36:14

But I would know, if you buy that for me, I'd be like thanks.

BlaireHost36:19

Did somebody give this to?

ZakkHost36:20

you Are you re-gifting this?

BlaireHost36:24

Now, that's not to throw shade at anybody who loves that kind of stuff. I think it's cute and wish I did like that, but to me it's just like okay, here's a mess and I got to find somewhere to put this thing and I'm already trying to get rid of stuff because I feel like we get too much stuff in our house so and so then I get too practical to enjoy the intentionality and the love behind it. It's a me issue.

ZakkHost36:43

Speaking of issues, you want to talk about a gift that we bought each other recently. It's the sexiest gift we've ever done.

BlaireHost36:52

We were both like kids at Christmas trying this gift out.

ZakkHost36:56

It has changed our marriage, I think.

BlaireHost36:58

Oh yeah, it was, it was good, it's good.

ZakkHost37:01

We had plans, we had big plans. Yeah, we bought on Amazon a the vacuum sealed bags to store like bedding and clothes and stuff in.

BlaireHost37:13

Yeah.

ZakkHost37:15

And let me tell you handheld little vacuum. Yeah, so you put it on there and it vacuum seals the bag up.

BlaireHost37:22

Yeah, you put stuff in. You seal the bag and it just goes and it squeezes it all.

ZakkHost37:27

You should have seen us. We had this big old bag on the kitchen counter and we wrapped up an old comforter and put it in there and we were like staring at it, grinning like we just found.

BlaireHost37:37

Like you know, Narnia yeah, yeah, yeah, and it was the lost world of Atlantis, like the heavens opened up.

ZakkHost37:43

Opened up, you know. The Lord spoke and said this is like my suction bag with him.

BlaireHost37:48

I'm well pleased it was it was it was it, it, I'm still thinking about it.

ZakkHost37:54

I think about that at least once a day.

BlaireHost37:57

You know, something in my 30s that I realized is that I love home organization.

ZakkHost38:01

Yes, we also but to be fair, I didn't buy it for any holiday or for a birthday.

BlaireHost38:09

No, it was just a random. Let's try this out. We need to save some space.

ZakkHost38:13

It was great.

BlaireHost38:14

Yeah, well, and we also realized we can travel with it, because I saw that hack especially if it's portable, which ours is, you can travel with your clothes so that you can fit everything in a carry-on, so you can check luggage.

ZakkHost38:26

Yes.

BlaireHost38:26

I'm like this is why are we not funding this kind of thing? Well, we did fund it, we did.

ZakkHost38:31

And it wasn't expensive. There's like 25 bucks, I think for the whole thing for like several bags and a little vacuum sealer. Do-dad thing and it was.

BlaireHost38:38

Yeah, I've got less totes in my house now because, we were able to seal that and store it.

ZakkHost38:42

I was trying to convince you to let me put the dog in one, but that was that was no. Go Abuse, yeah. And then you know what else we got.

BlaireHost38:49

The second best gift home organization was is those shoe. Yes, oh, I forgot about those.

ZakkHost38:56

I don't know what they're called, but I don't either. They're these little things where you stack one shoe on top of another shoe they don't touch each other and then you've literally half of the space that you had taken up with your shoes is now free to buy more shoes.

BlaireHost39:11

See, that's the issue is that this thing was really smart because we had more shoes than we needed. But we've gotten rid of stuff, but now it's like compacted so much shoe space that you feel like you need to make up for it.

ZakkHost39:21

It's not, it's not a feeling. What's the rule? What is the rule? I had the entire closet. We have shelves in our closet for shoes and I have two and a half shelves and you have two and a half shelves Shelves up, and the rule was, when that got filled up, that I could not buy any more shoes until I got rid of a pair of shoes, right, and so if I bought a new pair of shoes, I had to get rid of a pair of shoes. This is true. Recently, I bought a new pair of shoes but hadn't decided yet what pair of shoes I was getting rid of, and so I had to hide them in the top of the closet so you didn't see them before I got rid of them. But then I got rid of them and I figured it out. So Just hold on yourself. I know there's some sham lessons here, but now there's more room, yeah, so I can literally buy twice as many shoes as I had before. I have a problem.

BlaireHost40:09

We should have not gotten the shoe organizers. I love the shoe organizer I don't think that that was a rule. To get more shoes. I'm trying to get less stuff in my house. No, no, it was.

ZakkHost40:18

It was Sorry. No, it's too late now. I've already ordered more shoes.

BlaireHost40:28

I gotta go.

ZakkHost40:30

What are you gonna do I?

BlaireHost40:30

have got to go get rid of those shoe organizers.

ZakkHost40:33

No, yeah, god save the king and the shoe organizers.

BlaireHost40:36

No, we can't do this.

ZakkHost40:37

Our whole life has gotten better thanks to home organization. Happy Valentine's Day. You're getting a vacuum.

BlaireHost40:45

If you do that, I'll vacuum your face and throw away your shoes. Violence lessons Okay.

ZakkHost40:51

Well, as always, it's been great seeing you guys.

BlaireHost40:54

Happy Valentine's Day.

ZakkHost40:55

Happy Valentine's Day. We hope you have a great time. Be intentional, love each other, take care of each other. Don't hurt your husband. We'll see you next week, hopefully. Bye.

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