Christmas Chaos: Beavers, Broken Straws, and Bizarre Family Discoveries

This special holiday-themed episode is like unwrapping a present full of stuff you never wanted. Settle in for an entertaining ride through the quirky outtakes from previous episodes of Love Lessons, that promise to sprinkle your day with joy and maybe even a quirky lesson or two about love and life's unpredictable twists.

From the spellbinding (and sometimes mortifying) revelations of being married to a distant cousin, to the sly grin you can't help but have when your smart home device chimes in uninvited, we're sharing the lighter side of our journey through love's labyrinth. No stone is left unturned as we cover the gamut from technology-induced tantrums to the lighthearted nostalgia of middle school journalism mishaps, all while keeping the conversation as real as the smile that'll be plastered on your face.

And for those moments when the quirks of daily domestic life leave you bewildered—like the mysterious case of the scattered nasal strips or the endearing challenges of communicating in an ADHD-tinged household—we're right there with you, laughing and learning. So, whether you're navigating the rollercoaster of remarriage or simply need a playful escape from the holiday hustle, join us. It's not just about the laughter; it's about finding the extraordinary in the ordinary, learning in the laughter, and making sense of this wild ride called love.

In our most recent podcast episode, we delve into the often-overlooked humorous aspects of love and daily life. Laughter, they say, is the best medicine, and in this holiday-themed episode, we offer just that—a hearty dose of giggles as we revisit some of the most unexpected and entertaining outtakes from our Love Lessons series. The episode serves as a festive gift, unwrapping joyous moments that reflect the unpredictable nature of love and the quirks that come with it.

The podcast opens with a candid look at the hilarious confusion that can arise from something as simple as the spelling of 'hors d'oeuvres.' It's a light-hearted segment that pokes fun at the intricacies of language and the delightful peculiarities we encounter in social settings. The conversation then transitions to a more surprising revelation—discovering that one's spouse is actually a distant cousin. While the topic could be sensitive, it's handled with grace and humor, reflecting on the complexities of modern love in a way that is both thought-provoking and amusing.

The narrative shifts to the challenges and comedic moments technology brings into our lives, especially in the context of home automation. Who hasn't experienced the occasional intrusion of a smart device during a private moment or the unexpected consequences of a DNA testing gift? The episode also touches on the judgment and emotional turmoil one might face in such scenarios, but it always maintains a tone of levity and playfulness.

We also reminisce about simpler times, such as our shared experiences in a middle school journalism class. These memories serve as a reminder of the journey we've taken and the growth we've experienced. The contrast between our youthful aspirations and our current realities offers listeners a chance to reflect on their own paths with a smile.

The conversation goes on to explore the daily quirks that can arise in domestic life, such as the scattering of nasal strips by a partner or the refusal to adapt to more suitable reading devices. These anecdotes provide a window into the familiar, yet often hilarious, frustrations of cohabitation. We share these personal stories not to complain, but to embrace the idiosyncrasies that make our relationships unique and, at times, comically frustrating.

Moreover, the podcast delves into the quirks of living with ADHD and how it impacts communication in our fast-paced digital world. The chapter titled "Struggles With ADHD and Communication Issues" brings a light-hearted take on the chaos of daily life and the charming idiosyncrasies of managing clutter and notifications. The episode rounds out with a lively discussion on the possibilities of love and remarriage, using humor to broach the subject of commitment and the enduring nature of love.

Throughout the episode, listeners are invited to laugh along with us, to see the extraordinary in the ordinary, and to find learning opportunities in laughter. It's a journey that's not just about entertainment but about making sense of the wild ride that is love. This podcast episode promises to leave listeners with a smile on their faces and a few quirky lessons about love's labyrinth.

So, whether you're navigating the highs and lows of romance, dealing with the oddities of domestic bliss, or simply looking for a moment of reprieve during the busy holiday season, this episode is for you. Tune in for a chance to unwind, laugh, and maybe even learn something new about the comedy that is life and love.

Episode Transcript

NOTE: Episode transcripts are automatically generated.

Zakk Host 00:00 Christmas time is almost here and boy do we have a gift for you. We have stuff from the cutting room floor of Love Lessons. This is an episode that, honestly, I can't promise you you're gonna learn anything, but I do think you need to buck the love of grab your ticket, because the hot mess express is leaving the station. This is Love Lessons. Announcer Announcement 00:22 Real life, real talk, real relationships, faith-based tips, tricks and challenges to improve your marriage and change your life. It's the Love Lessons podcast, with your hosts, Christian counselors and marriage experts Dr Zach and Blair Gammon. Blaire Host 00:45 So is it really a Christmas gift for them, or is this literally the example of a bundle of switches? Zakk Host 00:51 You know it is. We had a saying when the girls were little you get what you get and you don't throw a fit, and that's what this is. We're taking a Christmas break and you know a wise podcaster not sure that's us, but a wise podcaster is someone who typically has extra content left over and so over the last what episode are we on now? Like 11 or 12? Over the last several episodes we have different tidbits of stuff that never made it to the show, and some of it's interesting, some of it might be educational, some of it's pretty stupid, but we're kind of pulling back the curtain. It's a little bit of a Wizard of Oz situation here. Blaire Host 01:33 You get like hors d'oeuvres. Zakk Host 01:37 little bite sasses Are they heavy hors d'oeuvres or light hors d'oeuvres, and can you explain what the difference is? I'm not fancy enough when I get invited to something that says we'll have heavy hors d'oeuvres. Blaire Host 01:47 I can't even spell hors d'oeuvres, because you want the worst of hors, don't you Exactly? Zakk Host 01:52 Like every single letter in the word hors d'oeuvres you can't even say it now or d'oeuvres, I think, feels like it doesn't belong there. Blaire Host 02:01 If someone puts out cheese and crackers and calls it hors d'oeuvres, I'm like listen the redneck. That was poor folk food White trash in me is like no honey. That's dinner. That was dinner when the food stamps didn't hit, yet it's just being real. So welcome to Love what's. I'll learn you something, or maybe not. Zakk Host 02:20 This is a bit of a mess. So it's Christmas time, yeah, and a common gift that people get this year are those DNA kits from like Ancestry and MyHeritage and 23andMe. Blaire Host 02:33 You got that a couple years ago as a present. Zakk Host 02:35 I jumped into it like headfirst and I had a great time with it. Yeah, you were going deep, yeah, so I learned some stuff, babe. Blaire Host 02:42 I'm 0.5% North Pacific Outlander or I don't think that's actually a thing. Zakk Host 02:48 No, is a Pacific Outlander like a clothing brand? Blaire Host 02:51 I'm not sure. I just hear a bunch of words that sounded right together. Zakk Host 02:55 I do have some Neanderthal in me. I learned. Blaire Host 02:58 But you wanted me to do something with that. You were like, babe, look, guess what I'm like? I don't even know what it is on a map. What are you going to do with that? Cool, cool, like thanks for passing those genes to our kids. It's like bits of useless information. Zakk Host 03:12 Well, I found something on Twitter recently from someone who did one of these tests, and this did not happen to me. I didn't find any like long lost relatives. I didn't discover like I was secretly adopted or like kidnapped by like the Russian mafia or something. Is the mafia? Is that what they call the mob? That's what they are in Russia, anyway. Well, it's what happens when you kidnap by the Russian mafia. So I found this tweet and I want to share it with our our love lessons family. Here. It says. My husband has been toiling away on ancestry for years and this morning I finally get through it. I finally got to enjoy the fruits of his labor and in depth presentation with charts showing how we are first cousins. Blaire Host 04:07 So so he knew this and didn't immediately like, oh my gosh, guess what. I found like he took the time to process this information, to come up with more data and to create a presentation. Zakk Host 04:20 I think maybe I don't know that it necessarily happened. Okay, here's what I'm imagining. I'm imagining me doing this. Okay, I'm two thirds of the way through the PowerPoint presentation that you don't care about when I realized that we're first cousins. That's the way that I see something like that going for me. I don't think there was like this big elaborate conspiracy that he didn't tell his wife. I think he got through it and had like an oh crap moment and realized she's my sister. Right, joe, dirt situation going on here. That's not love lessons appropriate. I apologize, audience. 04:52 So, so what do you do with that? So that's my question. Blaire Host 04:56 If you found out that you and I were first, cousins, I'm going to lose this, no matter what I say. Aren't I Like you were setting me? Zakk Host 05:03 up for failure. No, no, no. I really want to know what you think, because I know what I think. Blaire Host 05:08 So if you were on ancestrycom or 23andMe and you are checking it out, and you determine that we are first cousins. You're asking me what it is that I'm going to do with that information. Zakk Host 05:23 Right, do we stay together? Do we stay married or do we like shake hands and go our? Blaire Host 05:29 separate ways. Good day sir. Zakk Host 05:31 I'll see you at that Christmas when the family gets together. So the family reunion to hang out with my actual life, I have questions, though, and I think this is where you're going to get me. This is one of the rare times on love lessons. This is not a setup. I genuinely want to know what you think. Blaire Host 05:48 If it's you and I, like if I found out today, then I would say we're together, we already have children, we already have a home. Obviously, our children don't have any like inbred qualities, so like that's you know. Zakk Host 06:01 Are there any inbred qualities? Blaire Host 06:03 Well, I mean, I think that there are like medical things that happen if people of the same line procreate that those children can have Our children don't have those. So, like I would say, and you're not so close If you did not know this after this many years. Your family's not so close that this is like information. It's not like your brother-cousin is also your uncle cat or something Like. It's not like we all knew this and we're hanging out doing holidays together as this dual relationship, like it was a oh type of thing. So you don't have like the family dysfunction system situation going on. 06:43 Right, so I think we're too legit to quit at that point, do you? Zakk Host 06:48 That was a very long explanation. Who are you trying to justify this to? Are you trying to justify this to people listening? Blaire Host 06:54 I'm trying to make it interesting, because if I said no, we're together and left you with that, then that doesn't really sound like content. Zakk Host 07:01 Sure, I'm just I'm curious because it felt like I was processing externally. Blaire Host 07:05 I'm an excellent processor. Zakk Host 07:06 You had no idea this was coming before we sat down to record. Blaire Host 07:07 I'm an external processor. Right, just move on. What would you do Now? You've got me flustered. Can I not even answer a question correctly? Zakk Host 07:16 Yes, I'm just curious because I feel like there are people out there who might be hardcore judging you, but they're gonna have the hardcore judge me too, because I'm in the same boat Like it's been 14 years. Blaire Host 07:25 Would they leave their spouse after 14 years of multiple children and houses and dogs and ministry and jobs and careers? Zakk Host 07:31 and I guess we're all cousins, you know, at some point anyway, I mean, you're my brother in Christ, so it'll make it weird. Blaire Host 07:40 Now, if you were newly married, and then I guess you have to talk to. God about that. You don't have children. If it was like some conspiracy that was covered up, like there are times I could see like okay, like we might need to revisit this, but at some point, like the cows are already out of the barn, right, is that the right analogy? 08:01 I'm not sure it's the horses, isn't it? I don't know. The barn doors are open and all the animals are out in the barn yard. Why shut the barn now, like it's too late? Zakk Host 08:10 That's good. Yeah, you know, several years ago, it was probably back in the 90s. It was like on Ricky Lake or Sally Jesse Raphael or one of those Sally back in the day, right, someone. There were two different instances. I remember it was on one of these talk shows. It might have been spring or her nose. Anyway, the point is there were two different instances. This couple had gotten married and they'd been married for like two or three years and they discovered they were brother and sister. Blaire Host 08:39 Oh, my goodness. Zakk Host 08:40 I don't know if they had any kids or not. 08:44 Like adoption type situation yeah that's, that was kind of what I gathered Like there was. There were some else, separated, had no idea. They were in like their 30s I think, First marriage for both of them, and they discovered they were brother and sister and they decided to continue in their relationship. They I feel like I heard them saying they they were not going to have kids just to make sure that they didn't pass any like harmful genes down or anything. And this was, you know, again, it wasn't like five minutes into their marriage They'd already established some history there. I don't know. I don't know what I would do in that situation, because that feels real different than a cousin. Blaire Host 09:23 I feel like this is a great time to bring up that if you get one of these gifts for Christmas, you do a deep dive and you find out that you are related to your spouse. You can call us at Revive Counseling Center and we can assist you in processing this information. Zakk Host 09:43 We can't tell you what to do, absolutely not. But we will help you process it. Blaire Host 09:47 This would be one of those situations. People come into therapy and they're like I'm gonna tell you something big. You're just not gonna believe it. And you've already heard it, and usually I've heard it before and I'm not shocked. This is one of those times that if they came in and said that, then I'd have to make sure my poker face was in play. Zakk Host 10:02 Yeah. Blaire Host 10:03 Because I'd be like oh, like, this is real. Zakk Host 10:06 And not in a judgmental kind of way, Just like a. I can't believe that you're having to go through this. Blaire Host 10:11 It's like Santa Claus and the M&M commercial at Christmas time. They do a cousin. Yeah, I'd be like that. Zakk Host 10:18 I would Marshall matters. I don't know why? Blaire Host 10:22 No, no, santa rabbit. The red and the green M&M's from the 90s commercial. Zakk Host 10:27 I don't know why I would there. It's been a long day. So here's one that is even more shocking than the brother and sister. It was on the same episode. The episode was like I fell in love with my long lost whatever or something, I don't know. This guy and this woman get together and the woman is significantly older and oh, you know where this is going. And throughout the relationship, the, uh, the, the. The young man reveals that he had been put up for adoption as a child. The woman revealed she had put up a sign, and so they kind of bonded over this experience and then, like eight or 10 months into the relationship, discover that it's a mother inside. Blaire Host 11:08 That's a hard stop right there. Zakk Host 11:10 Yeah, and they didn't hard stop. Blaire Host 11:15 They no, no, that's, that's a line you can't cross. I um, so was that his mother wife. Zakk Host 11:26 I don't. I don't know that they could legally be married Cause they weren't together. So they were, they weren't married. So they like I guess that's true they weren't. She wasn't on the birth certificate, I guess. But so they weren't married. Yet, Like the brother and sister that found out, they were already married and had established, like history and their marriage, these two were just dating and continued. Blaire Host 11:48 Hey they should call a revibed counseling center if they need some help in that. Zakk Host 11:56 I don't know how to navigate that. I can't help you with that. Blaire Host 12:00 Well, it's a good thing, I'm a better counselor than you. I guess. Zakk Host 12:03 so Anyway, love lessons has taken a very weird turn today. Well welcome to the show. So this, this reminded me when I was talking together um of another gift that people often get at Christmas time. Blaire Host 12:14 Okay. Zakk Host 12:15 Um the, the fancy little personal assistant robots. Blaire Host 12:19 You're going to say all the names and all of the robots in these people's houses. Zakk Host 12:22 I'm not going to say it, but there's one that's produced by Amazon. Blaire Host 12:27 This isn't our name. Start with an eight, it does Okay. Zakk Host 12:30 Um, there's one that is produced by the largest search engine in the world. Blaire Host 12:37 Gugli ogli. Yeah, okay. Zakk Host 12:39 It feels like you're trying to talk piglet in front of the kids so they don't understand what you're saying. Blaire Host 12:44 I'm trying to make sure that I I'm guessing the wrong and then is there any other one? Zakk Host 12:48 I guess there's the one that's in your iPhone, cause she has home pods. They're really expensive. I'm not at the level of wealth to have a house full of those, so we've had the ones made by Amazon and the other one from the search engine. You got to be careful about saying that, because sometimes it'll just it's not being they got rid of Cortana. Cortana's dead. Did you know that? Blaire Host 13:08 No. Zakk Host 13:09 Yeah, she gone, they they killed her Asked Jeves. Blaire Host 13:15 It's still around. I don't know why. Because people ain't asking and they're asking Google. They're Googling questions, they're not asking Jeves. Zakk Host 13:22 They're not jeeving, no, so, um, this reminded me of another situation, because we I feel like I don't think I got it for a Christmas gift, but the very first introduction to home robotics I think I got as like a. I got a free one cause I bought something online. Um and so now, like, fast forward, this was like five or six years ago, fast forward to today, in our entire houses and ran by robots. It's wonderful, there's a lot of robots. 13:45 We're like the Jetsons, so yeah if you, if you have a personal assistant, um, that's made by what used to be the largest bookseller in the world. You shouldn't mute her now, cause I want to say her name a couple of times. Blaire Host 13:57 I don't even know what you're talking about. Zakk Host 14:00 Amazoncom used to be the world's largest bookseller, book retailer, oh really. So they got started. I don't know they sold books. You were around when it started. Blaire Host 14:10 I didn't ask Jeves that information. I don't know. Anyway, keep going. Zakk Host 14:15 Heaven's to Betsy. Anyway, alexa is her name, yeah, um, so we have our house like Alexa out at this point, like we have smart balls. Everything is automated, everything comes on at a certain time, our security system arms itself at a certain time and I tell people this because they're going to try to like hack into our house. No, they won't. We're locked down like Fort Knox. You think I've done all this and have it like I have, like routers connected to routers to connected to VPNs to block us. Blaire Host 14:49 And then if the China doesn't even? Zakk Host 14:50 know where we are. The Russian mafia has no idea how to find me. Blaire Host 14:53 The security system goes off and guns automatically pop out of the walls. That's a bit obnoxious. Zakk Host 15:01 I haven't installed those yet. Anyway, we have these things all over. It's connected to our lights. They turn on at a certain time or we can tell her to turn them off. Um, alexa sits, um, she turns on the Christmas trees this time of year. For us it's a beautiful thing. She knows to turn the outside lights on 30 minutes before sunset. She's she's real advanced, right. So we also have, um, a robot vacuum, roomba. Yep, um and so Roomba, when he works the way he's supposed to, uh vacuums at a certain time every day. 15:35 And um, so a few years ago we, um Amazon, came out with a feature if you had the security systems of the security package, uh, where Alexa would listen for sounds in your house. Um, if there was, like, if it hurts on, that was breaking and entering or whatever, no one would call the police for you. It was very nice. So, like, you can literally automate your security system. Now you don't even have to like get an intruder alert. Alexa just handles it all for you. I really wish she would make dinner and wrap the presents, but we haven't got there yet. 16:05 So, alexa, um, one day Git sends me an alert, um, and it like pops up this big, like wanting thing on my phone. I'm at work, I'm trying to get stuff done, it pops up this big morning thing that says something like intruder sound detected and it has a countdown of like 30 seconds that it's going to call the police. And so I'm having to like quickly rush on, look on my phone just to look at the camera that's in the house to see who is breaking into my house or if I need to like cancel the alarm or whatnot. And so I look and I finally get it shut off. Before you know, the cops get called to the house and it turns out that Roomba had started and it was back and it was vacuuming, and Alexa thought Roomba wasn't intruder, and so I almost had one of my robot assistants called the cops on another robot assistant. Blaire Host 16:53 That workplace conflict is what it sounds like. Zakk Host 16:56 Could you imagine having been an officer that showed up to the house? Blaire Host 17:01 My Alexa called the police on my Roomba yeah. Um it's a complaint about my vacuuming skills. Zakk Host 17:05 I would have loved to have seen a police report about that, though. Blaire Host 17:10 That might be one where they charge you because they came out. They were dispatched because it was preposterous. Zakk Host 17:14 Yeah, thank goodness, you caught that it um, it was obnoxious so we disabled that feature, um, so that Roomba can vacuum and peace and the cops aren't getting called. But it's funny because this happened several years ago when I really cared, and at some point in the last, like maybe COVID just messed everything up for me. But now I no longer have patients to even set up technology and so I upgraded iPhones um several weeks ago and out of necessity, not out of uh want to, because the battery was like dying on it, and I'm convinced there's a conspiracy with Apple. Um that when a new iPhone is released. Blaire Host 17:52 Well, you can find us on. Zakk Host 17:53 YouTube, um, the I'm going to miss. There's a conspiracy when the new iPhone comes out, suddenly, everybody's older iPhones start having trouble. Right, your batteries now started to struggle and so I had to go get this thing, because I started getting this battery warning like my phone was going to explode or something. So I'd order a new phone and there was this whole like back and forth with uh, their phone carrier, about like I could get it for free, but I had to like jump through all these hopes and it was a mess. And so I finally got it and I got it out of the box and, mind you, I went from iPhone to iPhone. 18:24 It's not like I like had some kind of major transformation and um devices and I could not figure out how to make it not be so loud, to the point that I almost went to Best Buy and, um, I finally did like talk to Apple care, um, online, and they were like hi, how can I help you? And I was like my phone's too loud? Oh, you did it. And she was like have you tried turning down the volume? Yes, that was my first step. And so I was like listen, lady, I've done research, I've Googled this, I've tried to figure out how to fix this. I don't know what to do. I've tried to figure out how to fix this. I don't know why it's so loud, but every time I turn it down and something happens, I get a ding. It's like a missile is shooting from North North Korea. Like it is so loud, please make it stop. And I was like I think I'm becoming a boomer. Blaire Host 19:12 That's how the transition starts. I was so angry over the technology and so not only did it not work, you were angry about it. Zakk Host 19:19 Yes. Blaire Host 19:19 Yeah, yeah. Zakk Host 19:21 Now the difference was I was not blaming the technology. I recognized that it was probably something that I was doing wrong. I didn't yell at the customer service associate. Blaire Host 19:31 Okay. Zakk Host 19:31 And I didn't show up 10 minutes before the store opened, banging on the door's demanding to be let inside, because I'm so entitled, because I'm 70 plus years old. Blaire Host 19:39 It's okay, that comes later. Zakk Host 19:40 That's okay. Blaire Host 19:41 It's a transition period. Zakk Host 19:45 It's a weird life I live. Blaire Host 19:46 So just FYI, in case anybody gets you any automated home technology. Zakk Host 19:51 It's going to make me angry. Blaire Host 19:53 I'm not buying you anything for Christmas. You are getting a lump of coal, that's what you're, and you have to do more podcast work. That's your Right. Merry Christmas, merry Christmas. Zakk Host 20:05 You want to talk about a fun fact? Blaire Host 20:07 Do you have anything fun? Zakk Host 20:09 Oh, it's fun. I intentionally didn't put this on our shared little rundown here I have a gift. Blaire Host 20:18 No. Zakk Host 20:19 It's a gift for our love lessons listeners. Blaire Host 20:20 Okay. Zakk Host 20:21 Okay, so two weeks ago we aired an episode where we kind of talked about our history right and how we met and all of those things right, and we shared that you and I had a class together. Blaire Host 20:40 No, you are not. This is not a present. Zakk Host 20:48 This is a punishment. That's a great friendly curry. If you who didn't listen to our episode a couple of weeks ago, you should go listen, specifically about when Blair and I met in the eighth grade. Do you want to remind folks where we met? Blaire Host 21:03 We met in Miss York's eighth grade journalism class we did when Zach was the editor of the middle school newspaper, his shining glory of his life. Zakk Host 21:13 That's not true. I was also editor of the high school. Blaire Host 21:14 Oh, excuse me Sorry. Zakk Host 21:16 I moved up, yeah. Blaire Host 21:18 I was placed into that class and was told to write articles with no history, experience, education, and I was 13 years old, correct, and the only thing I was ever told was to use more voice, and so all I did was use voice. Zakk Host 21:33 What does that even mean? Blaire Host 21:35 Like expressive and conversational in your writing. Zakk Host 21:39 So Blair's article made the front page and then his paper. I'm ashamed, right now. Blaire Host 21:43 I'm going to kick you in the throat later. If I can get my leg that high, it is all in it. Zakk Host 21:49 This is what's so great. Somehow, after 20 plus years, this is still preserved on the internet and I can go find it. Blaire Host 21:58 Just get on with it. Work the band aid off. I'm in pain. Zakk Host 22:04 Our principal retired at the end of our eighth grade year. Blaire Host 22:06 Miss Price. Zakk Host 22:07 Miss Price, darling Price, lovely lady and Lord rest her soul. Blaire Host 22:13 She's still alive. I have no idea. Zakk Host 22:15 I mean I assume she was an early 50s, she retired. Blaire Host 22:18 I just made it up. I don't know. Zakk Host 22:19 I just wonder, dad, but just Wow, miss Price, if you're listening, I'm so sorry. I'm also sorry You're about to have to relive this. So Blair wrote an article about this brass retiring and it was the. It was front page news. Blaire Host 22:34 It was, that was your fault. Zakk Host 22:35 And it was. Yeah, I didn't have much to work with. You know, we're all in eighth grade, so I'm going to be able to read the entire article because of its brevity here. It's hard hitting middle school journalism. The headline of the article is Miss Price Retires. You did set the headline up correctly to be fair, because you're supposed to use a verb in a headline, it's always supposed to be active. As you already know, our principal, miss Price, plans on retiring after the school year. The newspaper had a few questions to ask her. Blaire Host 23:16 This is where it gets sketched. Zakk Host 23:19 We asked her how long she has been in the teaching profession and her answer 27 years. It's hard getting stuff right here. We asked if she had only taught in our county, but she said she taught in various other states. She had several job titles over the years. What did she like best? Principal? This was the article of exclamation points. We also asked what she plans to do after retirement. She plans to continue working and spend a lot of time with her family. We asked her if she had anything to say to the new principal that's coming in effective July 1st. She said congratulations, you'll do a great job. I'm sure the faculty staff and students will miss Mrs Price, also for exclamation points. That was glorious. Blaire Host 24:08 There was nothing fun about that. Zakk Host 24:13 Okay. To be fair to you, though, I did go looking for some of my own stuff, so I couldn't. Actually, I went to the attic. I ran to the house before we came to record this to see if I could find the actual hard copies, and I can't, but I do have a picture, so I'll share this on Facebook and YouTube. If you listen to the podcast, go on over to Facebook or YouTube and watch the video of this. You can also see how red Blair's face is. So way back in the day, sometime probably 2004 or 2005, I guess the school newspaper when I was an editor ran an article and it was actually a serious topic. There had been several school shootings across the country that kind of happened within a few weeks apart, and so we in local news you try to localize these things you were looking at me like you were going to murder me. Blaire Host 25:12 I have so many emotions about you right now, but go ahead. Zakk Host 25:15 So, at any rate, we decided to localize what's called localize this article and make it relevant to our local audience, which was a group of high schoolers that, frankly, didn't care. And so what your article lacked, mine made up for in dramatics and theatrics. Blaire Host 25:33 No one is surprised by this. Zakk Host 25:35 So my headline was nationwide school shootings raised questions about school security. Nobody in our high school was reading that. Blaire Host 25:47 Or raising questions. Zakk Host 25:49 No, there were no questions raised beside my own and it was so dramatic and theatrical. I actually remember I got kicked out of our principal's office because I went in there demanding answers. It was kind of like. It was like was it a few good men that Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson were in? Was that the right movie? I think the right one. It walks into the courtroom and he was like I want the truth and he's like you can't handle the truth. Yeah, that was. Blaire Host 26:16 I walked in like demanding to know 14 year old's ass log did yes I walked into Greg Dunn's office and I'm like. Zakk Host 26:22 I want to know what we're doing about school security. It was like who are you? Blaire Host 26:26 He frets Right, I go as a sophomore. Zakk Host 26:30 He needed a sorely at this point, the principal himself is going to give me one just because he doesn't want to deal with me, and so and it's funny this wasn't even my article. I just assisted one of the staff writers with doing it. That's even worse, I know. And so we ended up there. After that, we ended up actually getting censored because some of our stuff we just got really annoying to the administration, and so they told us, if we didn't calm down, that they were going to start proving every single paper before it went out to make sure that we weren't being idiots. Blaire Host 27:05 That sounds like a smart adult decision that they were making. Zakk Host 27:08 Yeah, now, at the time, you know, I was like freedom of the press. We were miners. Blaire Host 27:13 Were you like going to throw the tea into the bay and riot, and you know. Create your own decoration of independence from the school or Right. Zakk Host 27:25 What's funny, though, actually, now that we're talking about this, I do remember a few years later, beyond high school, when I actually worked at a real TV station doing you know, real work that I got paid for to do news, and I actually did go back to our high school and talked to he was the assistant principal when I was there, but then he was the principal when I interviewed him about things that they were doing for security upgrades. So maybe it all worked out in the end. Blaire Host 27:48 In full circle a little sack walk, so big sack could run. Zakk Host 27:52 That's it. That's it and a little way wrote about mis-press retiring. Blaire Host 27:58 We're going to have to talk about this offline, off pod. Zakk Host 28:01 Off pod, if you will. So there we have. It Wasn't fun, but okay. So I have a question. Blaire Host 28:09 Can you just put me out of a misery at this point? Zakk Host 28:13 Do you want to share the other thing that you published in our eighth grade paper? Blaire Host 28:23 What? What is that puppy love? You're not. I was just sitting here thinking, thank God he didn't pull out puppy love, because that's what's worse. You owe me so big right now. Zakk Host 28:46 Do you want to share it with our friends? Blaire Host 28:47 You can share it. I can't get through it. Zakk Host 28:49 Do you want to read it? You can read it if you want to, you sure? No, okay, I'll. Blaire Host 28:55 But I need you all to understand that I had just went through my very first serious relationship or was in the middle of it. It was I was having a lot of big emotions, there were a lot of hormones, and I was not getting validated in these emotions at home and people were acting like I was being dramatic because I was, but I was just not getting the validation that I needed. Zakk Host 29:17 All we have to say is you were 13 years old. Blaire Host 29:19 Yes, and everybody gets it On with it. Zakk Host 29:23 Okay, actually, you were 12. You weren't even 13 yet, dang. What I will say about this is that you wrote this in the way that you talk, yes, and you still talk this way. Yes, this is still. This is this is Blair. Yes, oh, yeah, okay. So have you ever been in love? If you have, then you know how it feels. This is how it felt Heart pounding, sweating and stomach aches, or not. 29:56 Some people are afraid to get hurt, so they don't take the risk and put their heart on the line. Is it worth putting your heart on the line? I mean, those who do put their heart out there usually get hurt, and those who never put their heart out there don't know how it feels. Did you send this to fall out of the way, because I feel like this was in some sort of lyrics? Is it worth doing? 30:20 Some teens claim that they're in love, but they're really not. Parents often tell us that we don't know what love is or that it won't last, but how do they actually know? They call it puppy love, but don't we have the exact same feelings as they do? No Children? I bet you could ask your parents if they had any relationships throughout their teenage years and what they felt, and they would just smile and go off into their own little world. No, they wouldn't. That's weird. So if you worry about love, then don't. It's part of your teenage years. Like they say, it's better to have love than never loved at all, which is not the right way to say it. 31:07 Love than lost is what you were looking for there 12 year old Blair, I feel like this was a precursor to you becoming a marriage counselor. Blaire Host 31:18 All I have to say is that you were the editor and you let both of those articles fly. Zakk Host 31:22 So editor is a strong word. Blaire Host 31:24 I think this is your responsibility. Zakk Host 31:26 I think that Miss York placed all of these Me given the job of editor was probably just because I was such a brown noser. Blaire Host 31:37 And you wonder why our children are dramatic Like between the two, it's published. Yeah Tang, this really was a Christmas present, wasn't it? Zakk Host 31:49 For them. Blaire Host 31:51 And I'm taking back every gift that you've been given or that you've been bought for you. Get nothing, no soup for you. Zakk Host 31:59 Thank you for letting me walk down memory lane. Blaire Host 32:04 I'm never going to recover from this. There's nothing sexier than watching you do something that you're good at. Zakk Host 32:12 Which is everything, especially my humility. Blaire Host 32:17 It's like a cold bucket of water right there. No, but I was talking about this and she was talking. Her and her has been working close proximity to each other and so she was talking about how, when she hears them talking shop, that she just is like, admires that and it's so attractive to her, attractive to her, because it's something that she cannot do and it's something that she admires about him. So when you do those things, I can understand that. See you, yeah. Zakk Host 32:48 Just appreciating the gifts and the talents that God's given the other person and that that's your person. Yeah, yeah. Blaire Host 32:54 So what do you like that I do. Zakk Host 32:55 Oh, this is just fishing for compliments. Blaire Host 32:58 No, but if we're going there, then you might as well return the favor. Zakk Host 33:03 You have this way of looking at business and like business law and stuff that has like a lot of complexities and a lot of different facets to it and like making complete sense. I read it and I might as well be like reading like Aramaic and like you know, original Bible language, because I don't understand any of it. And you're like, well, you have to do this and you've got to put this here and you've got to go this way, you know, to keep you from being sued. Or to you know, because this is an ethical business practice, and to me it's just like totally over my head. But when you talk about it I'm like, oh wow, that's like I was an attorney in another life. 33:39 Yeah. Blaire Host 33:40 Actually what I wanted to do when I was a kid. Zakk Host 33:43 And now you're a counselor. Slash podcast. Blaire Host 33:46 I remember I was in the fifth grade. I think you're right. I was in the fifth grade and they had us get a picture from home. They had to create our self out of construction paper and our shirt had to do like. They had to open it up like that that sounds weird, it's not working. 34:02 Okay, I'm not doing well. We had to make ours like a little person of construction paper, but we had to do like a flip, open to where you like, opened up your heart and you know, it was like on your shirt area, and so when you opened up my little shirt area, there was a little picture of me that I had taped there and then it was like hi, I'm Blair, I'm in the fifth grade and I want to be an attorney when I grew up and I want to go to Austin P State University and like this whole life, hey, the whole life Math up. 34:27 Where are you? I sure did, Didn't do a bit of it, but I was decided that's what I was going to do. Zakk Host 34:34 So what's it like living with somebody so perfect? Blaire Host 34:40 I wouldn't know. Zakk Host 34:41 Why I'm amazing. Blaire Host 34:42 I didn't say you weren't amazing, but I don't necessarily agree that you're perfect. Zakk Host 34:48 There's a song that tells me I'm perfect in all of my ways. Blaire Host 34:56 No, it's talking about God. It's not talking about you, do you? Zakk Host 34:59 know what song it is. Can you remember? Blaire Host 35:00 Good, good follow. Zakk Host 35:00 Yeah, there you go, all right, okay, so I guess if I'm not perfect, then I'll have judgment that you're also not perfect. Blaire Host 35:09 Yeah, I wholeheartedly agree with that one. I'm not trying to pull the wool over anybody's eyes here, Zach. Zakk Host 35:14 Do you think that other people have things that their spouse does that drives them crazy? Blaire Host 35:21 In ways that they're not perfect A hundred percent. There are ways that I drive myself crazy, and so, of course, there's ways that another person's going to drive me crazy, so I know. Zakk Host 35:29 I'm going to feel this way. Let me share some of the things that you do that drive me crazy. Blaire Host 35:35 Oh, you have a list. Zakk Host 35:36 Oh, I have a list. Blaire Host 35:39 Are you, aaron R Dirty Laundry here, if you will? Zakk Host 35:41 Number one I don't know if you were raised by savages. Actually, I do know. Maybe they raised you in a barn, but why do you not know how to use a toothpaste the right way? Blaire Host 35:56 I don't think this is like a savage thing. I think this is the preference thing. It's a preference thing and you just don't like my preference. Zakk Host 36:02 You grab it by the middle and just squeeze. You squeeze it from the bottom of the tube. It is a mess. I can't tell you how many times I have to clean up toothpaste mess. Yes, I know you've cleaned up my messes. This is not about me, this is about you. Blaire Host 36:16 I'll squeeze from the bottom whenever it starts getting low, but I'll squeeze from the middle until we why, why must you ruin a perfectly good toothpaste? Zakk Host 36:25 You waste a lot of it. It gets everywhere, it is messy. It is a pain in the butt trying to get it back down in a little fancy, cutesy little cup that it sits in with the toothbrushes. Blaire Host 36:35 Okay, that's valid. Zakk Host 36:36 Yeah, can we talk about the betrayal you felt? What was like a year or so ago when you realized that I have a hidden tube of toothpaste, when you start being all savage and your toothpaste using. Blaire Host 36:47 I felt like our marriage was over when you told me that I really traveled, you would. Zakk Host 36:51 For over a decade I've had a hidden tube of toothpaste. Blaire Host 36:54 Like the lies, the lies. They just keep stacking up here. Zakk Host 37:01 Our marriage is built on a lie as long as a toothpaste tube. Blaire Host 37:04 You're supposed to share a lot of things in marriage. Zakk Host 37:06 I tried when we first got married and you used it like a savage. Blaire Host 37:12 I don't even know how you have a hidden one, because I'm the one that does all the shopping. I know it's a miracle you go to the store by yourself I have and by your own tooth. Zakk Host 37:21 For the sole purpose of buying my own toothpaste that you're not going to mess up? Blaire Host 37:24 Yes, I actually am, and then you're hidden somewhere in a bathroom that I claim that I don't know. Zakk Host 37:27 You can't reach everything shorty. Blaire Host 37:29 This is true, but now I know. Zakk Host 37:33 Is it still there? Blaire Host 37:35 I'm too tired to find out. That's what I thought. Well, while we're at it, I would love. I would love to throw down some things that you do that drive me crazy. Zakk Host 37:46 Okay. Blaire Host 37:49 You wear nasal strips to sleep, do you not? I do. And they're the clear extra strength, extra, extra, extra time. Zakk Host 37:56 There's a lot of nostrils going to pull a barter in a very narrow nose. Blaire Host 38:01 And I will wake up and find these things sticking. You don't just wake up and oh, what a wonderful night's sleep. And take off your nose strip and throw it away like a normal person. It's like you had the most chaotic night ever. There's no like pin the tail on the donkey, except it's the nose strip, and it's usually on me. I woke up one day and found it on my butt. It was stuck to my butt, I don't know. I was wearing pants and it was inside of my pants and of course, on the sheets and on the pillowcase. And then, you know, the adhesive gets on there and I found them on the bottom of my shoe or my slipper when I'm walking through the house on the rug, and then, of course, you like to the one day the dog, and then you also like to like stick them to the table, like the bedside table. Zakk Host 38:48 So it sticks there, so I don't lose it. Blaire Host 38:50 I'll come back and get it. You're not going to reuse them. Zakk Host 38:52 No, I can come back and get it later when I'm working for Ask you, you're never going to. Blaire Host 38:54 I always do that. That's fair. Your nose strips are everywhere. It's like the epitome of my hair being everywhere. Zakk Host 39:01 Yeah, except you've never woken up with a nose strip in your butt crack and I have that air in my butt crack. You're right. Is that appropriate to talk about on the podcast? Blaire Host 39:10 That you have a butt crack. Zakk Host 39:11 That there's, that your hair gets stuck in it. Blaire Host 39:14 I'm sure that this is the thing that other people experience. Oh, I know it is, yeah. Zakk Host 39:18 It's just, we're trying to be cooth, are we trying to? Blaire Host 39:19 be cooth. We threw that out the window on time ago. Zakk Host 39:22 So everybody has a butt crack. Blaire Host 39:24 So if you will back up off of my toothpaste using and remember that, I have a deviated septum. Oh, so you have a medical condition, yes, which cause? Okay, I need the nose to be able to breathe. Sure, use the nose strip, but discard it in an appropriate way. Zakk Host 39:42 I feel like maybe you're overreacting. Blaire Host 39:43 It's like you had a fight with the plastic factory, the plastic sticky factory and they won. Because they're everywhere, I have to go and hunt them down every day so they don't take over my home. Zakk Host 39:55 Interesting. It's like their little little gnomes that grow. Blaire Host 39:59 Oh, oh. Now I'm going to look at them and thank their gnomes. I wonder if they have any red and green ones for Christmas, because that would be festive. Zakk Host 40:06 Let's talk about this Woman. Blaire Host 40:09 What. Zakk Host 40:12 This is one of those things that don't matter, like I could see how like nose strips could send somebody over the edge in toothpaste. This one doesn't matter, but it drives me crazy. You have access to unlimited technology. I'm a huge nerd. If you want something, I'll make it happen. I could build you a server in the basement if we had a basement. I don't know what store on the server, but that's not the point. Maybe episodes of love lessons? Anyway, you like to read books and you like to read Kindle books, or I like to write books, but you do it on your phone and so I'm watching you. You will be like sitting on the couch and you'll be like squinting, with your phone super close to your face, trying to read what it says. And I'm like woman. You own an iPad. We have at least three in this house, One of which, I know at least, belongs solely to you. Blaire Host 40:57 I'm not sure what the problem is here. Zakk Host 40:58 I don't want all of those things, but you've got the phone like two. You're already going blind and you refuse to wear glasses. Granny, why do you hold the phone so close to your face? Why are you making life? Blaire Host 41:09 I didn't know, this is what we were doing today. Zakk Host 41:10 Why do you have to make life more difficult than it is? It's already hard enough. Everything's on fire, my hair's on fire, the hair in my butt cracks on fire, everything is on fire, and you refuse to use an iPad. Blaire Host 41:21 Here's what I want to know why do you feel like you have to fix me? Zakk Host 41:25 Because I'm codependent. Okay, codependency is also on fire. Blaire Host 41:33 I'm going to keep using my phone. I don't need to make sure everything's charged Like, I just need the responsibility of one device. Zakk Host 41:39 But you're hurting I didn't like my watch. Blaire Host 41:41 You're hurting. Zakk Host 41:42 I know you don't even use your Apple Watch, but you're you like have it like four inches from your face and you're like squinting at it all funny, and you're like. Blaire Host 41:49 I don't feel like I'm doing that. Zakk Host 41:51 Okay. Well, feelings aren't facts. I watch you, at least with your glasses. Can we agree that you wear glasses? They're not reading glasses. The fact is that they're prescription glasses that can help you read. What is wrong with? Blaire Host 42:03 you Okay, never had a comprehension problem. Zakk Host 42:08 You're going to comprehend something. What if we get you some? Why can't we get you some reading glasses then, so that you can wear? Blaire Host 42:17 because I don't need them for reading. Zakk Host 42:19 But you do, because you're squinting with your phone four inches from your face. Blaire Host 42:21 I don't think I'm squinting and it's not four inches from my face. You can increase the font size on your phone. I will do that. I will increase the font size on my phone when I'm reading books, if that would make you feel better you're trying to fix me and I don't need to be fixed. Yes, you do. We're doing just fine over here. So many things wrong. I do just fine up for here. Zakk Host 42:41 There are so many issues that I have with you. Blaire Host 42:43 Okay, well, I feel like we need to move on a little bit. Zakk Host 42:46 Do we? Blaire Host 42:47 Mm-hmm, Because when you get in the car to go somewhere, when we get in the car collectively because I don't know how you do it by yourself- I do just fine. Lowering help. Yeah, you couldn't get us there if you tried what do you mean you couldn't get out and drive? You don't plan how you're going to get there, you don't map it out, you just start driving and you're like I don't have time for that? 43:11 No, it doesn't oh wait a minute, we could be going east and you're needing to go west and you're like, oh, I don't want to get west, I'll find out eventually, like the lack of preparation and planning makes me want to throw up punch you. Zakk Host 43:25 Do you know that I don't have any of these problems when you're not in the vehicle? Blaire Host 43:28 And it takes you three times as long to get anywhere. That's not true always. I think you're like Rose from the Golden Girls. Okay. I think when it comes to your driving like, oh, what's going on? I am directly. You have already talked about how you dropped a trailer in the middle of the street. Zakk Host 43:45 Well, we're going to bring that up again. Blaire Host 43:48 So your driving's already been called into question. Okay, Wait wait, wait. Zakk Host 43:52 Driving and dropping a trailer are two very different things. Blaire Host 43:54 I don't think so. I think it's all in the same thing. Zakk Host 43:56 Okay. Well, I think somebody not knowing how to use a toothpaste and not knowing how to use multiple devices and being incapable of juggling multiple ones is the same thing. But here we are. Blaire Host 44:06 I just think it would be better if you I mean you need me around to give you directions, and then would I do give you directions. Zakk Host 44:11 You'll give me directions, whether I want them or not. Blaire Host 44:13 And then I do give you directions, and then you get frustrated with me that I've given you directions, but if I didn't, then we wouldn't get there. Like I couldn't win if I tried. Zakk Host 44:24 So has it ever thought to your? Have you has it thought of her car? Blaire Host 44:28 to you Nope. Zakk Host 44:30 No, it hasn't. Maybe my husband's riding. I should just be quiet. Blaire Host 44:34 That thought has never occurred to me, I know. I know If you were right, then it might, but you're not. Zakk Host 44:41 So really, really just yesterday I think you said I was right about something. Blaire Host 44:45 If you could tell me what it is that I might agree with that. I don't remember that See. Zakk Host 44:52 I have a question For somebody. Blaire Host 44:55 Why do you always start these things? Is that a question? Zakk Host 44:58 Because I have questions. Blaire Host 45:00 No, it's this backhanded way of asking a rhetorical question. Zakk Host 45:04 No, there's nothing rhetorical about it. Blaire Host 45:06 You know how? You know how another thing you do. You know I have a question. Do you know how? Zakk Host 45:16 you know how, when a beaver comes up to a body of water and they see it flowing? Blaire Host 45:21 No, I've done that way. Zakk Host 45:23 You're talking, I'm getting there, let me get there. Blaire Host 45:26 I've never seen a beaver before in my life. Zakk Host 45:29 Really you live in the country. You lived in the country. I lived in a country town. You live in a rural area. Blaire Host 45:35 Are beavers in Kentucky. Zakk Host 45:37 Yes, beavers are in Kentucky. What is wrong with you? Anyway, it's not the point. You know how, when a beaver comes up to a body of water, why are you asking me questions? This sounds like a bad joke. No, the answer is two, three beavers walk into a bar. Okay, go ahead. 45:53 You know how when a beaver comes up to a body of flowing water and they see it. They think somebody's got to put a stop to this? Absolutely not. And so they build a dam. As an aside, do you think they know what they're doing when they're building a dam? Don't know what you're saying. Blaire Host 46:06 You're where you're going. Okay, so clever joke. Go ahead, move on. Zakk Host 46:11 Okay, well, it was clever until you were a jerk face. When beavers see a body of water flowing, they think absolutely not. Why do you have that same response when a notification pops up on your phone? Oh wait, If you're like in the middle of like scrolling through Facebook and somebody texts you, you will take that sucker and just go look, sort of swipe it as fast as you can Like. Your life depends on it Aggressively. Yes, Like what is it that? Blaire Host 46:38 It's so offensive about. It's interrupted me. Zakk Host 46:42 You could be reading something at the bottom of the page, but if somebody texts you you got to like. It's like how dare someone disturb the queen during a tea time? Blaire Host 46:53 Okay, so I know you don't understand this because of your struggles with ADHD. Zakk Host 46:59 I have notifications from last month still on my phone. Blaire Host 47:02 I know, and that's who you are as a person. But I as a person like to clear those things out. But also, if it pops up and I'm in the middle of something and I don't get rid of it, then it's going to distract me and I'm going to not finish what I'm doing. Zakk Host 47:18 And yet I'm the one with ADHD. Blaire Host 47:20 Right, so I'm getting rid of the distraction, so I can continue on my path. Zakk Host 47:23 Those of us who are normal can just operate and say oh so, and so texted me, Do you? Blaire Host 47:28 No, you don't do that, because you stop immediately and go and text them back and then forget what you're doing. That's not true. It's true, that's. What I'm saying is I'm able to stay on my path. Wait, wait, wait. Zakk Host 47:39 Did you do that to me? When I text you? No, because unless I'm in the middle of like CPR, I will almost always stop. Okay, I'm in the middle of an important meeting and I don't want to be disrespectful to the other person. That's fair. But there are very few times that I won't stop what I'm doing and respond to your message. Blaire Host 47:55 Yeah, that's yeah. If you text me something, I always will respond. Most of the time it's if somebody texts me and I don't have to respond. They're just telling me something. I'm like, okay, got it and move on. But I am bad about that. I'll read somebody's text message and forget to respond to them, probably because I've gotten rid of the notification. Zakk Host 48:14 The truth comes out. Blaire Host 48:16 Yeah, so if I owe you a text message, you need to text me and tell me I owe you a text message because I forgot. Zakk Host 48:22 No, I will say, when it comes to work, a lot of times I'm really bad at responding to messages because now we have so many different ways that we communicate. So, like we have our group chat for the church, for church leadership, we have Google chat that we use for revive, for our stuff there, we have text message, we have email, and so I'm really bad about like forgetting to respond to a message because there are so many options of how to message. Blaire Host 48:45 See how many issues we've created with automation. Zakk Host 48:48 See how many issues you've created by swiping? Blaire Host 48:50 notifications. If you have one device to communicate and or read on, these things would be so easy, yeah, and if you would use it. Zakk Host 48:56 You know what? Adjust your text. Blaire Host 48:58 You angry little notification beaver and Not a beaver, milly beaver and Kentucky. Is it Blair the beaver? Something's wrong with you. I just want to know how you got there. That was a leap that you took, hope you stretched. Zakk Host 49:17 A beaver sees a body of flowing water and the thing absolutely not just like you think when you see an obligation. Blaire Host 49:22 Okay, but what I want to know is if I'm a beaver, then you're squirrel. Zakk Host 49:30 Oh, absolutely I am. I have no qualms about that. Blaire Host 49:32 Because you like stuff and you'd like to put past stuff in different places they eat through it. Zakk Host 49:38 I want my pack wrap. Blaire Host 49:40 Oh, okay. Zakk Host 49:41 I'd put that up for you two different times and you totally just, you're supposed to be a professional. Blaire Host 49:48 I'm going to be professional about what I do next until everybody close their eyes and their ears. Close your eyes, that's as nice as it could be, close your ears if you want to look away. For 10 seconds, and then it was asked not here anymore, don't ask any questions. Zakk Host 50:00 Don't ask any questions if there's blood. Blaire Host 50:03 You like to leave little pals? I do. We'll call them Zach Glitters. Okay, they're everywhere you go and I'm constantly going behind you trying to clean your pals or at least organize them so that they are, like, not chaotic. Zakk Host 50:17 I have no disagreements here. This is 100% truth. Blaire Host 50:20 And that drives me insane. So our bar and island in the kitchen, our bar. Zakk Host 50:26 We're going to need one after this is over. What is this? Well, FAT Tennessee in 1997. It's an island. Blair, have some class. Blaire Host 50:35 It's Elevate. It has a bar on the top. It's an island with a bar on the top of it. Zakk Host 50:42 In front of a baby. It's doing a bar. Blaire Host 50:45 Is that a martini? Zakk Host 50:47 We quote this is an aside. We quote sweet home Alabama to each other on an obnoxious basis. Blaire Host 50:53 Yeah, yes, we do Bobby. Zakk Host 50:57 There are rumblings. There are rumblings. There have been for a few years now, so who knows if it's true or not, but there are rumblings that they're talking about doing a sequel to that movie. Blaire Host 51:06 That'd be great. Zakk Host 51:07 But they said that Jake Perry's character wouldn't be in it and she would have already left him. I'm like, well, if that's the point, then she might as well go back. She can't leave him Right. We have to, in our minds, be convinced they are still living Forever. And where was it? In Greenville, Alabama, Not Greenbow Alabama, because that's Forscom, but in our minds life is great down there. Blaire Host 51:27 Yes, she can't leave him yeah. Zakk Host 51:30 She wants to kiss him any time she wants. Blaire Host 51:31 Exactly. Zakk Host 51:32 Anyway, sorry go ahead. Blaire Host 51:34 That piles everywhere everywhere everywhere, on my bar, specifically in my kitchen, and I'm going behind in the straightening up. Zakk Host 51:43 Sometimes there are multiple piles on the island. It's not a bar On the island. I want to burn it. Blaire Host 51:49 I want to put it all in a pile in the front yard and I want to set it on fire and I want to do a dance around it. But if I did that, a the neighbors would think I was crazy and they would commit me, and, b you would just put a new pile, or two or six, up there the next day, and so it would be fruitless. Zakk Host 52:05 I'd probably make a pile in that burn pit that she had made Right. And that's how they are neighbors like us. Blaire Host 52:10 Well, I mean, we don't go out and say hi to them. Zakk Host 52:13 So we're not super friendly neighbors, we're not unfriendly. Blaire Host 52:16 We're just not involved in the neighborhood. Zakk Host 52:19 Yeah, I just I have too much going on to care. I'll wait to a couple of folks. There are a couple of folks that'll walk by because we have mother and son that live on our street and work out of Thanks for friends with some of them. Blaire Host 52:29 Yeah, but I mean, I'm friendly there's. Zakk Host 52:32 Well, I did hear recently, in the last couple of months, that someone who knows, someone that we know, was commenting about how those people are never outside and they just must be the most unfriendly people in Owensboro, and I'm like, actually, I, just, I, just, I don't. Blaire Host 52:48 We're just coming and going all the time. Zakk Host 52:50 I don't have any room for new relationships at this point yeah, I can all. Blaire Host 52:53 I don't have the capacity. Zakk Host 52:54 I'm too busy making piles and Blair is too busy being an angry beaver Swiping notifications away. Here's another one the shade that was thrown that just came up just just in the last 30 minutes. Actually, I have two more. The list just continues to grow. We can go on and on. Mm, hmm. 53:13 Number one why do you so violently, when we go somewhere to eat, that there's a straw and a wrapper? Why do you so violently have to get it out of the wrapper Like you, beat on the table to the point that the straw breaks? I had to drink out of a cup for lunch with a broken straw while nursing a broken heart from your violent savagery. That's the only way to get it out of the wrapper? Blaire Host 53:35 No, it's not. Zakk Host 53:36 There's a whole little paper down the side of the straw wrapper. You just rip it and the whole thing comes off. That's how it works. It's never worked that way, for me at least. You've never tried it, just like you've never tried to use a kid, though like a normal person. Okay, so I will say when I do open a straw and I don't bang it. Blaire Host 53:51 I do just open it from the top, and that doesn't work and then I'm trying to. So maybe I do need to try the side which blows it. Zakk Host 54:01 To my second complaint. You know where I'm going? I don't. When you don't know how to work something, you just start pushing buttons and it furiates me. That's true To no end. Yeah, you will get into one of our vehicles, yeah. Blaire Host 54:23 And you're like hmm. Zakk Host 54:24 I need the air conditioner and sometime between the two of us I'm going to get into the air conditioner and the mighty the air conditioner, and to the point which is a very short span of time that you decide you're going to turn on the air conditioner. You get like enraged hot and you just start pushing stuff and, before I know it, like you're blasting Ricky Martin and like you've got the heat cranked up and the defrosters on. Blaire Host 54:48 I'm living la vie, la vie yeah. It's driving me low, it's the head out the window To get some air. Zakk Host 54:55 So this past summer we went to the mountains and we were getting ready to leave. We'd eaten lunch, we were getting ready to leave and you had the baby was getting fussy, needed his diaper change or something, and so you and the girls went ahead and went out to the truck. I stayed behind and waited for the server to come up so I could pay and stuff. And I come out there, baby screaming, one of the girls are crying. You are like your face is red and I get in and I'm like what is going on in here? You've got the heat on full blast and everyone's not happy. 55:30 I had even like remote started the truck for you so that it would be cooling off, but it wasn't cool enough because you weren't patient when you walk from the restaurant to the truck and I was like what is happening out here? And you had like pushed all kinds of buttons. You were convinced that if you started the truck that you could get the air to work better. It just needed to cool off for a second. You would like you turn the truck off and on like three or four times and like the heat was blasting and I was like what is that? And you were like I'm so hot and I'm like just leave it alone. Blaire Host 56:04 I had like floral lengths like maxi dress on, except by this point, I had like gathered it up. It was like a mini skirt. You were like girding your loins at this point I accept that that is that I have no patience and I don't know how to work any sort of technology. Zakk Host 56:24 And you've done that multiple times that, whether it's vehicles or computers or just it's like do you want to accept these cookies? Blaire Host 56:29 I'll eat all of them. Yes, no problem. Before you know it, you're really full. Zakk Host 56:38 Bless your heart. Is there anything else you'd like to complain about? Blaire Host 56:40 No. Zakk Host 56:40 I got many complaints about you? Blaire Host 56:42 No, no, I think, I think I don't, I think I want extensions. Zakk Host 56:51 Yeah, you said that about once a year. Blaire Host 56:54 There's these things called halo extensions. Zakk Host 56:55 Okay, tell me about the halo extensions. Blaire Host 56:58 They were like 70 bucks on Amazon, sure. Zakk Host 57:01 You can calculate with girl math how you'll come up with an equation. Blaire Host 57:07 Well, when you consider the fact that real extensions cost like good ones, like three to $400 minimum, plus the expense of having your hairdresser sew them in for you and the maintenance that it takes to deal with them and have them unsewn and re-sewn back, in these are basically free. They are like a tenth of the cost. Zakk Host 57:30 Okay, so great value brand. Blaire Host 57:32 So you said 90%. No, they're not great. The halo ones that are their own name is on the real hair. Zakk Host 57:39 They're a family dollar. Blaire Host 57:42 No, they're not. Zakk Host 57:43 They have a lot instead of Kroger. Blaire Host 57:44 Well, they're not. Zakk Host 57:45 Tell me about your hair extensions. Blaire Host 57:47 I just did. Zakk Host 57:49 What's the difference? What makes them special? How do you put them in, do you? Blaire Host 57:52 take them out so you can put them in yourself. It's called a halo and there's a wire, so it's like Okay. Zakk Host 57:58 How many times in this conversation are you going to say halo? Blaire Host 58:04 Here we stop now. Zakk Host 58:05 Keep going. I'm sorry. Blaire Host 58:07 So it's a halo. 58:08 This never ends. So it's hair that's on a wire in a circle. So the back is where the hair is at and the front is the wire. And so you part your hair, you pull it like halfway up or so around the crown and you put it so that the wire comes right here and then your hair goes around it. So you never see the wire. It's like tucked in your hair. But then it gives you. So you have to color match. But you know you can get them dyed if you need to, obviously Whatever and then you can get and go to your hairdresser and have them cut them into your hair so that they blend really well. But you can take them in and out and you can take them out and you can wash them and you can actually curl them or straighten them or do whatever. Zakk Host 58:49 Because it's real hair. Blaire Host 58:50 Because it's real hair, and then you or you can do it on your head, whichever you want. That you could do either, but you just pop them in and it gives you fuller and it gives you. Zakk Host 59:00 Why do you want extensions? Blaire Host 59:02 Because of the girl, and so when I have long hair, I want short hair, I want short hair, I want long hair, and so this is the, the compromise, the best of both worlds. Zakk Host 59:09 So would you get your haircut really short. So you go back and forth. Blaire Host 59:12 No, I'll probably stay where I'm at. I might get a little shorter, but I would stay where I'm at. But I want like long ones, like middle or like lower back, like long, luscious ones. Zakk Host 59:26 This is the least interesting conversation I've probably had in weeks. Blaire Host 59:31 Why did you have it? Were you supporting me? Is that what it was? You should have asked a lot of questions for somebody who was not engaged. Zakk Host 59:37 I was trying to make you feel supported, but I don't. Blaire Host 59:42 Okay, well, let's move on. Zakk Host 59:45 So I have a question. Blaire Host 59:47 Okay, here we go. Zakk Host 59:50 Why don't you love me? Blaire Host 59:52 I do love you. Zakk Host 59:53 Okay. Well, it doesn't feel that way. Blaire Host 59:56 Why. Zakk Host 59:57 Let me, let me share with our friends what you've done. This has been a longstanding disagreement. It's, it's been a year or, two, two years. Blaire Host 01:00:07 It's been over a year, okay. Zakk Host 01:00:10 And you still don't love me. It's amazing. So we were watching this show, you were watching the show, I was catching bits and pieces of it. It's one of those that I didn't want to admit that I was getting into. But then I would like I would never sit down with you and watch it, but I'd like stand in the living room in my underwear with one sock on yes, no, strip hanging halfway off, and there's a visual for you. You're welcome, and so I don't. I won't give a whole lot of details because I don't want to give the show away. So, any rate, it was a, a comedic take on a soap opera where they were making fun of how obnoxious soap operas are in this TV show. Right? Is that a fair assessment? Yeah, okay. 01:00:46 So the main character had a love interest who died and sometime later seasons or years later, he comes back into her life but she he shows up on her doorstep but she had already moved on. She already was married, had children and moved on. But this guy who died was like the love of her life, like the moon and the stars, the. You are everything to me. I'm not complete without you. There's probably some codependency in there. That's not the point. Um, they need counseling anyway. So he's gone, she's devastated, but eventually she moves on. And if I died, I would want you to move on, find somebody who makes you happy, but he doesn't die, he comes back. It was amnesia or something stupid, because it's television Okay, and I was offended on his behalf because this person, who was the love of her life she did just immediately run back to and I shared this offense with you and you took her side. Blaire Host 01:01:45 Not quite Okay. So this actually started longer ago because I read a book with a similar plot. Zakk Host 01:01:52 Oh, yes, it did. Thank you for bringing that. Blaire Host 01:01:54 I shared that I'd shared that with you and we had our first disagreement about the matter and then the second time it happened, it was like, oh no, here we go again. So all I'm saying is that in both of these situations, the female who their first spouse had passed, had died, went through an entire grieving process, went through years of grieving and then was getting back on their feet and then got into a new relationship. Zakk Host 01:02:25 Good for them. I want you to be happy. Blaire Host 01:02:27 And then the first husband shows back up again. Right, I'd never said no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, never, ever said she should not be with the first husband. All I said is wouldn't that be hard, wouldn't that be a challenge to have to pick? And you immediately were like, if I'm not the first one, then you've never loved me. Like no, no, no, I would still probably pick the first one, but you have to recognize that that's such a challenging situation. Zakk Host 01:03:05 There would be no question to me If you died and came back from the dead. I don't hear who she. Is she gone? Okay, she can go find new housing somewhere. She can go live out in the backyard, as far as I'm concerned, and become a swamp witch. Blaire Host 01:03:25 What's up If you buried her? Zakk Host 01:03:28 If I died? If I died, would you ever find anyone that you love as deeply and as passionately, and all of those things as me? Blaire Host 01:03:38 I sit here and I say no. Zakk Host 01:03:40 That's where you should stop. Blaire Host 01:03:42 And I never would want to, and I don't ever think that I would. But I also know that I might love them too, and again, this does not mean that I'm going to choose them over you, if you were to come back from it. Zakk Host 01:03:57 There should not be any. You shouldn't have to decide. Blaire Host 01:04:01 I am. What if I was your second wife? How much you love me right now and your first wife came back, I won't love you that much right now. Because you only love your first wife. Zakk Host 01:04:09 No, because you are my person. And if something ever happened to you, then if I were to ever get remarried and I'd probably would I mean, we're in our 30s now you would, absolutely would, Because I'm such a catch. Yes, Because I'm so co-dependent. I need somebody else. Blaire Host 01:04:26 Because you have a large capacity to love and you need to share that with others. Zakk Host 01:04:31 I would probably get remarried, as I would want you to get remarried. I don't want you to spend your life lonely and like all that. However, don't go with somebody in our friend group Like if he's sitting there at my funeral and he's like rubbing your back, saying he would want you to be happy no, he wouldn't Shut your mouth. Anyway, that's on the side. I know that I could never love someone in the same way that I love you, and they would know that. Not in a like you're never going to be good enough. I'm always going to be comparing, but to some degree like it, it, it. Honestly, I'd probably marry for money the second time around, because I've already had love Like why not be rich and enjoy it? Blaire Host 01:05:12 I think you should marry. Marry someone who's also a widower. Yeah, so they understand. I think there's value in that. Yeah, yeah. Zakk Host 01:05:18 So don't get me wrong. I would never want to sound insensitive to folks who have gone through the loss of a spouse and who have remarried. There are, there are people who have wonderful marriages after their first spouse has passed, and I'm I say all this in, in, in jest, but I would never want anyone to think that that we're discrediting the experience that someone has that that's truly gone through that heartbreak. But if you, you always tell me that I'm the love of your life and you don't know how you would make it without me, I don't and I'm. I'm glad that you, in this, you know, fictitious world that I've made up in my head that you have a second husband who's taking care of you and who cares for you. Blaire Host 01:05:53 You made all that up. Zakk Host 01:05:55 But you better kick his sorry butt to the car because he ain't gonna be as good as me. This should not be a question. You should not have to think I'm not. Yeah, you're not thinking. That's the problem. Blaire Host 01:06:05 No, I never said I wouldn't. I never said I had to think about it. All I said that you took offense to. Was that? Wouldn't that be a challenge? It's a challenge. Zakk Host 01:06:18 It would not be challenging, at least for me, because I actually love you. Blaire Host 01:06:25 I feel like I'm not alone here. I feel like this would be challenging for other people too. Zakk Host 01:06:31 All I know is if you love me as much as you say you love me, why are you having to question who you're going to be with? Love of your life or sloppy seconds, Okay, Bad they're not Kick Joe to the curb. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. Then why are you having to sit and think, wow, that would be a real challenge. Blaire Host 01:06:54 Get rid of his butt. I'm not even putting myself in those shoes. I'm thinking, wow, a person has to make that decision. What a challenge. There's a lot of emotions. They've already grieved, they've already went through all of this stuff Absolutely, and then now it's coming back up again and it's like conflicting. But he's not dead. He was and she thought he was emotionally and she dealt with it in that way. And then she's going to have to deal with that too. Zakk Host 01:07:18 You want to know what's real offensive to me. They didn't end up together. Blaire Host 01:07:22 Yeah. Zakk Host 01:07:23 Actually I was rooting for the other person anyway. Blaire Host 01:07:25 I never liked it In the show, in the book they never ended up with the first person. Zakk Host 01:07:29 They're original stuff. So what I'm hearing is when I die, you're not going to pick me. I'm not even going to bother coming back at that point. Blaire Host 01:07:35 If you come back from the dead and you don't come back for me, I'm going to be so pissed at you. Zakk Host 01:07:39 Oh, so it's okay for me to come back, but you're not going to pick me. Blaire Host 01:07:42 I didn't say I wasn't going to pick you. I never said I wasn't going to pick you. Zakk Host 01:07:46 You've been fired. I just I have inferred. Blaire Host 01:07:49 Oh, you inferred wrong. I'm just saying that it would be challenging, but I'm telling you right now. I'm telling you right now If you come back and you don't come for me, I'm going to come for you, oh. Zakk Host 01:08:04 You're going to kill me with a knife again. Blaire Host 01:08:06 Chainsaw and a knife at the same time. You're going to wish you stayed dead. Zakk Host 01:08:11 Anyway, this is love lessons, this is NPR. Our love note today is a simple reminder that Christmas was never meant to be a burden. There is a lot of crazy things going on this time of year. You're trying to buy gifts, you're trying to coordinate schedules, you're trying to get to 14 different family get togethers, and all while trying to make sure that everybody's happy. If you are the planner and the organizer in your family, it brings with it a lot of stress, sometimes a lot of heartache. 01:08:45 If you compound that with trauma that some people experience around this time of year from either losing a loved one or growing up in a bad family situation, it can just bring a lot of hurt and heartache to you. Please let this be a general reminder that this season is about remembering Christ coming to earth, god taking upon flesh and dwelling among us so that he could live a perfect and sinless life, that he could die and receive the wrath of what we should have received as punishment, so that we can live in eternity worshiping him. We have this gift and this sign, rather, in our living room at home that says the magic of Christmas is not found in the presence, but in the gift of his presence In the middle of the hecticness and the frustrations and the challenges. It's my hope and prayer that you seek his presence this holiday season. Blaire Host 01:09:44 Well, I've got to go now. I have to go regulate my emotions. How come? Did something bad happen Because I'm feeling some type of way about you. Why I'm not feeling puppy love if you wouldn't? Zakk Host 01:09:55 know, are you feeling puppy rage? Blaire Host 01:09:58 I'm feeling no love at this point. Zakk Host 01:10:01 Well, again, it was a gift for the audience, not for you. This is the season of giving Blair it's giving season. It's giving something Please please, please, don't give me an early death I'm taking back all of your presents, dang it. Blaire Host 01:10:24 You get nothing. Zakk Host 01:10:26 Not even coal. Blaire Host 01:10:27 Nope. Zakk Host 01:10:28 Did you see that thing going around on Facebook? That said hey, if you're also getting coal for Christmas, let's link up a Wingstar to fire up the grill or something. Blaire Host 01:10:37 Oh, that's cute, yeah, no, you're not allowed to do that. Dang it. You can't hang out with any friends either. Zakk Host 01:10:42 Am I grounded? You're grounded. Can I go to my room? Nope, where do I have to go you? Blaire Host 01:10:45 have to go to the kitchen. Zakk Host 01:10:46 Dang it I don't like any of this. Blaire Host 01:10:47 Dishes and dinner. Zakk Host 01:10:50 All right, guys. Well, it's been nice knowing you. Blair's going to go get that knife again and I'll be lucky if I ever see you. Blaire Host 01:11:00 If this episode makes it to air, you're alive because you have to produce it and it gets done. If you're hearing this, that is okay. That is okay. Zakk Host 01:11:10 We are taking off for Christmas, so there will be no episode next week. Just let the joy of this episode burning your hearts until we return. This is stupid. We're leaving. Bye, see ya. Announcer Announcement 01:11:28 Thanks so much for tuning in to this episode of the Love Lessons Podcast. If you're enjoying the show, please feel free to rate, subscribe and leave a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. That helps others find the show and we greatly appreciate it. Once again, thanks for tuning in and we'll catch you in the next episode.